That is the best advice I have heard in a long time and wholeheartedly agree. It is like saving all your money until you are unable to properly spend it as you once wished.

Charley (I never knew I was spelling your name wrong for years) thank you – what you have to say brings me inspiration, you are writing a book without realizing you are writing a book. Keep going . . .

But like you I found it hard to find inner peace and contentment, while still being a person who achieves things and goals.

I found it to be in my attitude towards these goals. I focus on being content and grateful with what I have, yet seeing my future self as an expanded version of now, happy as well, with even more potential to express.

The key is not to postpone happiness until you achieve your goals. Because they won't produce happiness. Only you do. And you can produce it without any ingredients from your goals.

But achieving goals allows you to express your potential in another way.

So it is this duality that we must live with: enjoying our live today and still striving for expansion of our potential.

- Charley

Thanks so much for your comments. I'm still figuring it out too. All I know is right now I'm very uncomfortable in my skin and that usually means I am close to a personal breakthrough to a happier, more joyous understanding. It's part of normal growth and, as Susan states in the comments below, it's something one should embrace and bless despite all its difficulties.

- Charley

Thank you so much for your beautiful comments. I consider you a spiritual mentor in many ways. I've watched you come so far over the last couple of years to become this amazing and confident woman who goes after her goals. Besides being one of my favorite poets, you are one of my favorite people.

Namaste,
Charley

From my eyes, way over here (on the other street) you see, my perspective is quite different. Yes, I am a parent, yes it is all a blur- a mad crazy beautiful frustrating blur of insanity that you eventually forget about that ends with the most beautiful gifts that can ever be bestowed upon humans. I know you do not feel that way now, not all the way – but you will.

You see, the both of you are doing what some cannot, would not, would shrink from, run away from, give up on, get nurses to handle, nannies, lose their ever loving minds, stark raving mad running out of the house down the street kinds of things, simply you are doing what God has intended you to do. And it's beautiful.

One day I was talking to a great mentor of mine and I was upset a bit about people who had kept canceling things on me – saying they will do this or that and then not end up doing them, not because they could not do them nor wished to not do them, simply they had fear in doing them. I am no stranger to fear, and I said, "I don't understand, it is not that I am never scared, unsure, or not afraid." I feel fear, my heart pounds, my head dizzies, but I still do what I do, the best I can do, with the ability given to me (and it may not be climbing Mt Everest but for me, it is enough) however, as I sat there just talking, he said to me:

"You know what the definition of courage is?" I said, "No."

He said, "Courage is facing what you fear yet still facing it and doing it and not allowing that fear to stop you." (something like that.)

The point is just that. You face what you have to and that is courage, strength and faith.

I will leave you both with that. I do not think you realize how utterly strong the both of you are, let alone how utterly strong your children are.

And THAT is simply lovely.