Three For Thursday – Lost Count Edition
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Bella...Almost Happy?
Each Thursday, for the near future, I give updates on how our baby triplets are doing in the hospital. They were born May 28th at 27 weeks gestational age. Bella Marie born 1lb 14oz, Owen Charles born 1lb 14oz, and Noah Anthony born 2lb 4oz.
Tomorrow morning Noah (still in the hospital) will have hernia surgery. We knew he's needed it for several months and they've told us that this is one of the last steps before he comes home. Terrific news for us, and we're cautiously optimistic. The kids will be five months old very soon and we feel that we're missing out on some very important development time with Noah that we will never get back.
It's very hard with the two at home. I haven't seen Noah in nearly two weeks, and Nikki has been able to get up there a couple of times. But with Owen on the heart-rate monitor, we can't really let anyone babysit him unless they've gone through the infant CPR class and are taught how to work the monitor.
Owen - Easy Like a Sunday Morning
I don't get to see my wife very much either. I work all day and then I come home to have a quick dinner with my wife and we try to get her to go to bed soon after while I watch the kids. I'll watch them and get their feeds in till about 1:00am and then Nikki takes over again.
When all three are home, it will be tougher. I imagine that we'll both have to get up for feeds each time, since it takes nearly an hour to feed and hold each baby upright to prevent their Reflux issues from bringing all of the food back up.
If anyone has any tips on how to save time feeding three babies, we'd appreciate it if you could share in the comments below.
There are some tremendously gratifying moments. I can see and appreciate each of them grow and fill out their clothes. Owen has gone from a rather scrawny baby to really filling out, particularly in the face over the last week. The pics in this post are from tonight. Owen didn't appreciate the flash.
Bella…she cries nearly all the time that she's awake. At least at night when I am home watching her. I've been sitting here for three and a half hours now while my wife is sleeping and Bella is crying now as I write. She's either been crying or sleeping this entire time. I've taken several breaks while writing this to try to console her.
I don't seem to have the patience for it. The sound really grates on me and I feel horrible for her as well as for my ability to tolerate it. The moments are so rare when she is smiling and happy that I really try to appreciate.
Owen, by contrast, is quite mellow. He really doesn't cry unless he's starving or if Bella's crying gets him going. I think this is the hardest for me, trying to deal with her near-constant crying. Owen has not so much as cried once in this three and a half hour period. His monitor has gone off a few times, for not breathing often enough, mostly.
The Pediatrician thinks that it's just a problem with the iron supplement she is on and the thick formula preventing her from being regular but she refuses to let us change either. She also thinks Bella may be teething already. As such, she's not a very happy baby these days.
Last night she cried for nearly eight hours straight from 11pm to 7am this morning. We got no sleep and I expect more of the same tonight with the way she is acting right now.
I just want her to be happy. And I just want some peace and rest. And I want to be able to hang out with my wife.
Yes, I'm whining a bit. Just a little tired and since I pay for this domain I get to use it as my sounding board.
In many ways my life has become simpler these last few weeks. I haven't choices on what to do nor time to spend figuring out what to wear or what to eat. I often eat on my feet and I throw on whatever is (semi) clean for work in the morning. I know it's all temporary…this, too, shall pass, and there will be wonderful times coming. Still trying to figure out the flow. We'll get there.
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Comments on Three For Thursday – Lost Count Edition
12:07 am
Sounds like a tough time right now… I can hear the battle in your words. As a mother of a baby who had a rough start in life.. it is difficult Charles knowing what Bella has already been through and to know she is crying for something and she can't tell you.. you can only speculate..diaper? food? gas? pain? remember she vibes off your energy. its tough when your sleep deprived but you and Nichole are working together to manage. don't be afraid to ask for help… call on your friends and family to do a few loads of laundry.. go to the grocery store… make a lasagna – whatever. Life right now is not going to be what it was prior to birth, or even when one of the babies was home, and its okay…because it will all get better in time.
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Little Bella, I see you peaceful, comfortable and smiling.
3:42 am
Oh– I wish I lived closer so that I could help you guys out. It is awful to have a baby unconsolable; it makes you wonder why you can't make them stop or why you aren't comforting them. My daughter had problems at first, but hers was gas due to being lactose intolerant. once we changed formulas, she did great. I know some doctors don't want to change things, but I know I sometimes did things with my daughter that they didn't necessarily recommend. Unfortunately, your case is a little different due to the babies health conditions from being so premature. Hang in there. The first month or two are the hardest (and i say that since the babies just came home, not because of their age). Once they and you get into a better routine, it should get better. Bella may be still adjusting to everything. Have you tried playing some music for her? Get out your guitar and sing to her. Maybe she has your interest in music!
I'm glad Owen seems to be doing well. One down, three to go!
I hope Noah's surgery happens and things go smoothly so he can join his siblings. Maybe Bella misses him…
Hang in there. Just remember to look at them when they are sleeping. That's when they are truly little angels.
3:48 pm
Hey Charley
I'm sorry that I always am writing things for you to do/try. I hope it doesn't come off wrong, I just want to help. I think that what would most help for you guys is to get your extended family over often and for extended periods of time. Do you have a guest room? Maybe your Mom could come over one night a week to help and stay over night…and then Aunt Donna could pick a different night. Try to come up with a schedule. Maybe a friend could come over once a week and cook you dinner. You have potentially a lot of support nearby, don't be shy, ask them strongly if they can help.
Hang in there guys, Matt
4:03 pm
Forgot to add one thing about getting additional, in-home support. Consider a postpartum doula. We have already contracted with one to come out for 4 hr appointments, once a week, for the first 6 weeks. They will help out in any way they can: being with the babies so the parents can rest, cleaning, cooking, whatever is needed. Consider it. Whatever you do, I feel strongly that you guys should get as much support as you can now.