There's a terrific post up over at Illuminated Mind that's inspiring this article laid out before you.  While I don't always agree with the author, Jonathan Mead, the fact is that he nearly always stirs an emotion in me and that's what makes brilliant and effective writing. 

In his article, The Number One Self-Development Mistake, And the Fake Growth Addict, I saw much of myself in both the positive AND negative pictures he was working to paint. 

I am that seeker of knowledge who, for the last twenty years of my life (damn, I'm getting old) I have been pour through book after book of "esoteric" knowledge to try and "fix" me.  But "fix" implies that I'm broken, that there's something seriously wrong with me, and that I'm unhappy with my current state.

This is sad, really sad.

I have a dream life by many standards.  I have a terrific, well-paying job in a shytacular economy, I own several rental properties, have no consumer debt otherwise, have a beautiful wife and three beautiful, young babies.  I have some talent and aptitude for writing and making music and I get true joy out of sharing this with the world.

Yet somehow I feel like I'm still broken, that I need to be fixed. 

In this way, I am Jonathan's prototypical Fake Growth Addict.

I was trying to cure an invisible illness: my perceived inadequacy.

That inadequacy is a myth driven by the ego, and has nothing to do with real growth.

Yeah, that's me.  I've read enough books on spirituality to logically understand the concept that we are already whole and complete beings.  While the ego leads to some fun and rewarding pursuits, it really is hollow and we need to realize that.  Happiness is not found in the pursuit of a worthy goal.  Happiness just "is."  It is a state that you can decide to be in, just as you elect to be angry, sad, or otherwise. 

Jonathan's list of his own brushes with fake growth are what really resonated with me and wanted me to write an article "publicly" announcing my own foolish pursuits of personal growth:

• The pursuit of learning to be an early riser.  I hate the early morning, but it's a rite of passage for the self help industry.  You should hear me when I have to get up for the 4am feedings of the babies.  I'm positively grouchy and I hate every minute of it.  If I didn't have to do it for the babies, I wouldn't.  I'd much rather stay up late into the wee hours of the morning to get my writing done in solitude. 
• Reading a book just because other's claim the author is brilliant and life-changing.  I really hated reading Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer and especially Deepak Chopra.  I find their style of writing unbearable, yet they are all brilliant men with a brilliant message, but I have never, and will likely never, finish a book of theirs.  I haven't the patience to force my way thru to the message.  I'd much rather read Paulo Coelho.  Even on the fiction side, my reading sessions were quite brief of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, "The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao."  Another blogger I highly respect recommended the book but it's page after page of drivel about some poor, overweight kid trying to get laid.  I abandoned it after 70 pages.  Maybe this makes me an idiot; so be it.  Let me revel in the perfection that is my idiocy.
• I actually feel like I've been conned by the number of times I've bought music that was highly recommended to expand my horizons, and then got nothing out of it except anger and regret from wasting another $15 on a useless piece of plastic.  I used to feel stupid because I didn't "get it."
• I've tried to go Vegan a few times in my adulthood but man, I really like chicken wings.  I live in Buffalo after all.  I'm not adverse to trying again in the future, but I will hopefully come to it knowing that if I "fall off the wagon" that doesn't mean I'm a failure.
• Etc., Etc., Etc.

This is where self-improvement becomes detrimental, particularly when you're working from an Ego-centric model.  For each of those examples above, I felt like a failure when I was unable to complete or sustain the effort.  This inevitably made me feel worse than before I had the idea to try the pursuit or read the book.  To combat that failure feeling, I would then rush out to find the next quick fix for my broken self.

I've had numerous false starts lately in my 100 Item Challenge and also in finishing up my book.  These are not true failures.  They are experiments, and if I fail to follow through each time, so be it.  I may eventually find that the endeavor is not worth it.

I've heard it said numerous times that the way to ingrain a habit is to practice it for a few weeks straight.  Well, I've done this before numerous times, and then fallen off the wagon some months later.  So be it.  Maybe the motivation to really do that "thing" wasn't strong enough.  Maybe I was only doing that thing because I thought that's what an enlightenment person would do.  It's more enlightening to realize that this might not be true. 

So what's the answer?

If I'm able to recognize when I am being ego-centric in my self-development, then I can often divest myself of the feelings of inadequacy.  It is better to approach life as a human, being; meaning that I am a spiritual being who's chosen to manifest as a human, experiencing and being all that I can reasonably experience.  I'm here to learn, and that may mean learning by failure.  I'm here to share my gifts and to experience other people's gifts.  There is no true failure in this pursuit except for not "being," not trying.

I've written recently about my desire to slow down and let change happen.  Part of that post contained the following text:

Absorbing and regurgitating self-help books at lightening speed is like taking a sip from a fire hose.

I do truly believe that enlightenment can be found in books, but unless it is applied in a practical nature, it is going to be fleeting, at best.

So, I've been journaling on what the most effective methods would be for getting the most out of my reading experience and decided that I would share some of my thoughts on the subject.

Read Less, But Read Regularly

Now, if you don't read at all, "Read Less" is not very helpful advice.  But if you are a voracious reader like myself, you may find stepping back a bit to be helpful to your ability to retain more information.

I am trying to scale things back by 50% (not just in reading, but life in general).  Over the last five years, I've averaged about thirty self-help books a year, with a couple of novels mixed in.  I am probably on the low side of many readers out there.  I also had a nasty habit of reading several books at once due to my varied interests.

I am making a goal one self-help book a month.  And it becomes a To Do item with a due date.

The other important point here is to make it a regularly scheduled part of your day to read.  It can be as little as fifteen minutes, but probably should not be more than an hour if you have other important tasks that need to get done.

This being November 1st, I am dedicating this month to Do Less, Achieve More by Chin-Ning Chu.  I will provide my notes on this book sometime early in December, provided the book passes the next step.

Don't Waste Your Time on Books that Don't Interest You

There's a reason why the number one rule for writers is to hook the reader immediately.  If you find yourself thirty to forty pages into a book and you're not sure why your reading this, then put it down and go onto something else.  Life is too short to waste your time on books that aren't interesting.

Sure, we've all run into an instance where we've broken this rule and been rewarded with a truly great read in the end.  I remember one particular summer after college where I persevered through Atlas Shrugged despite how dry it was early on, but it also so happened to be a time in my life when I was out of work and had plenty of time to blow.

Use your own judgement here, as with everything, but there are so many thousands of great books out there that you don't need to waste your time through something that may end up being sub-standard.

The corollary to this is that you should spend some time finding an interest first and therefore be in tune with what you want to learn.

Take Notes

Some folks like to write notes in the margins of the book.  All the power to you, to each their own, yada yada yada.

I'm partial to my Moleskine journal, specific to the purpose of writing down the best stuff that I learn.  I've always said that my journals are the most valuable books I own.

I suggest you don't just take notes like you would as a student for a test.  Write down your thoughts and feelings about the material that you're reviewing.

This is as critical a piece to the learning process as is the actual reading of the books.  That means you should take a few minutes, after each block of time reading to do this task.  I actually prefer to take the notes as I read.

Really get into this, noting how the material can help you achieve your dreams and goals.  If you're unable to find the value of the material than you should go back to Step 2 and really consider whether the book is worth your time.

Put It to The Test

Okay, now that you've put this much work in, don't let it die a slow death in the recesses of a dusty, withering (or is it weathering?) journal.  Take three to four weeks to put the material to use in your own life.  Better yet, make the whole month your trial as you read the book.

Document your life experiment as you go.

Treat your life as an experiment.  Even when you think you've got it, don't just relax into your comfort zone.  We are here to grow, to learn and to share.

Share Your Experiences

Yeah, this really is the final test.  You've learned it, you've applied it, now try and teach it.  The best way to show you've learned something and flatter an author is to write about your experiences.  If you blog, write an article about it, or write a review on Amazon…something more personal than "I really liked this book."  You can even mentor someone else with your new found skills.

Yes, this is a lot more work than blitzing through one book after another, but it's also more effective and you may find that you won't yearn for the next great secret in the pages of another book (I too, am guilty as charged).

I've decided to make my book reading experience more valuable to me and hopefully to my readers.  I will be putting these steps into practice each month and share it as a more personal, hands-on type of book review.  Like everything here at Scribe For The Tribe, the triplets set the schedule (Noah is in charge for November…which means no schedule) but I will try to get them in once a month.

On an unrelated note, November is National Novel Writer's Month where writers from all over the place come together and throw out the inner critic to whip together 50,000 or more words in thirty days to make a first draft of a novel.  I've participated in this for each of the last five years, but due to the three new babies, I've taken a pass at it this year.  It's great fun (if you consider pounding out an average of 1667 words a day fun) so do check in out at NaNoWriMo.

It took me two days to blow through John Milton Fogg’s The Greatest Networker in the World recently and it was an absolutely fantastic read. It is easily one of my top ten favorite self-help books of all time and I went out and purchased a copy for me to mark up with my trusty highlighter even before the copy I had read came due at the library.

I could easily spend a few articles on this one alone and I probably will over the course of this year, however, I tend to write what’s on my mind at a given moment. And what’s on my mind at this moment is a particular technique from this book that I am finding most helpful and may be the most valuable technique that I have ever come across.

It is called the Movie In Your Mind and it is a very powerful form of mental imagery. Essentially, you allow yourself to daydream about what you would like the ultimate movie about your dream life to me. You quite literally watch it play in your mind and you control all the scenes.

Do not let the simplicity of the concept dissuade you from its importance. I actually have a tough time daydreaming about myself. It is more than likely a self esteem issue. I have been an avid daydreamer since I was a young boy and I still am now, which, quite frankly, helps me to be a pretty decent fiction writer.

I just seem to have a much easier time daydreaming about other people and situations. I have never been able to hold an image of myself for very long in my head without quickly changing the mental subject.

Watching my Mind Movie has taken a lot of practice. I think I had kept the movie going only about fifteen seconds the first time I tried it in earnest two days ago but I’ve kept at it and now I am beginning to enjoy it again.

I remember using the technique when I was a youth hockey player. Back then I had heard it called simply Mental Imagery. I had a goaltending coach when I was about ten or eleven years old (I think his name was Gene Stankowski but I may be recalling incorrectly) who sought fit to educate and prepare our minds as well he did our bodies for competition. Now, at ten or eleven most kids don’t care to read a bunch of articles on Mental Imagery printed out by there coach but I held on to them.

I remember the one in particular that quoted a study on three groups of basketball players and their statistics for foul shooting. One study group practiced every day shooting foul shots for a defined period of time. A second group was kind of the control group, they really did no practicing at all. The third group practiced only in the Movie In Their Mind. They imagined making perfect foul shots over and over again in their mind for a defined period of time.

I am sure you know where I am going with this but the three groups were then brought together to see how many foul shots they could make out of a hundred. Group one did very well, group two did poorly and the mental imagery group scored as well as the group that had been physically practicing every day.

So every night before bed, and before every game, I practiced this mental imagery of making perfect saves as a goaltender in hockey. I was an excellent youth hockey player. My career stalled in college for many reasons, but I can’t help but think that had I continued to use mental imagery instead of shelving it as childish before entering college, that I may have continued to have a great career far beyond where I had gone.

Lost athletic dreams are not the point of this blog. Rather, I know this technique of The Movie In Your Mind is very powerful. I had long ago lost my ability to do use my mental muscles for good in my life. I certainly have no trouble imagining the worst-case scenarios in my mind.

That is going to change from now on. I am making a choice to watch the Movie In My Mind every night while drifting off to sleep. I fully expect my real life to start resembling my movie over the course of the next year and beyond.

To have it, you must already be it.  This is the law of resonance that says you attract to yourself what you are at a vibrational level.  This is what is meant by act as if you already have what you want.  Be that person that you want to be, and the successful trappings will come soon after.  We are all atoms and energy, constantly moving, constantly resonating.  It’s conscious, focused attention that molds those atoms and energy into form and action. 

In Quantum Physics, it's stated that whatever frequency you are at can only attract back to you something that matches that frequency.  Focus controls resonance; that’s why we have a Lucky Day, or bad things sometimes happen in three’s.  The law of resonance works in both directions, both good and bad.

Unless you are actively and consciously thinking, feeling and doing something different than you have been, you are part of the problems you complain about.

Expect bad things to happen, more often than not, you won't be disappointed. 

Another key ingredient is to incorporate Feeling into what you want, not just thinking.  This is what Greg Braden wrote in The Lost Mode of Prayer (great book by the way) where he said the key to prayer is to be that which you are praying for.  If you want peace, pray as if you are peace.  It you want rain, pray as if you are rain. 

Adding feeling to your prayers amplifies your broadcast into the Universe where all things are made. 

This is also where gratitude comes in.  Gratitude is an emotion.  If you shift your thoughts toward what you are grateful for, you will resonate at a level of gratitude, thus attracting other good things into your life. 

We must be willing to focus on what we want everyday!  All too often we live in fear, and get caught up in what we don't want.  Unfortunately, you're using a powerful emotion, fear, plus a movie in your mind of the feared situation and broadcasting it to the Universe.  You will find, all too often, that if you continue this, you will manifest many of these things that you fear instead of the things that you desire.

Don’t “need” it. 

Need is coming from a state of lack. Be the desire, not the desperation.  This is a fine line, of course.  You want to put a great deal of emotion into broadcasting your desires, but desparation is a negative emotion.  You need to try to come from an area of abundance, that the Universe is plentiful and will provide if you remain focused in your desires.

Stay open to how the Universe will deliver to you your desires.  If you get too caught up in five hundred pages of specifics on what you want, you may not notice when the Universe sends you similar opportunities for something as equally awesome as what you desire.

With that being said, I've come up with a seven step positive success plan to help manifest your desires. 

1.     Get Clear – know exactly what you want and why you want it, and for that matter, know what you don't want and why you don't want it. 

2.    Begin forming an action movie of what you desire – add all the senses into the movie as possible.  People have varying degrees of how they can imagine in their mind, don't get discouraged if you cannot attribute some sensations to your movie, like touch or taste.

3.    Go deeper into the movie until you end up with a feeling of deserving

4.    Pay attention to the opportunities the universe is presenting and take action. Start doing what you would need to do if you knew you could not fail.

5.    Celebrate each step of your success. – develops more gratitude and builds upon your success state of mind.

6.    Keep a success journal – nothing in it but your successes making it to your goal.

7.    Take stock every week of where you are in your goal – you may have to make constant adjustments to your environment to help you succeed.

You are a powerful and creative being.  This works both positively and negatively.  Go out and manifest to your heart's desire and make the world a more positive place.

Photo by Springsun

I was doing some research on the founder of Panasonic, Konosuke Matsushita and found reference to an interview he once gave with a financial reporter.  The reporter asked Matsushita how far into the future he typically planned his businesses.  I was astonished to read that Matsushita replied he and his partners planned two hundred years into the future. 

He said that they would practice at envisioning the future, even two hundred years from now, and try to determine what that world would look like and what products those future peoples would want.

This geled with another concept I read a couple of days ago on Neurolinguistic Programming guru, Anthony Robbins who stated that most folks over-estimate what they can accomplish in one year, and under-estimate what they can accomplish in ten years.

What would happen if we took that approach?

Instead of getting all excited around New Year's, setting all these goals and resolutions that get broken within a few weeks of the New Year, what if we started a ten year plan right now, today, in the middle of the summer? 

Instead of losing thirty pounds in one year, can you do it in ten?  Isn't it more important for you to be trim as you age?

Instead of paying off all your debt in one year, can you do it in ten?  Isn't it more important for you to be debt free ten years from now?

For me, the two goals apply above to my ten year plan.  While we have no consumer debt, we have three mortgages on rental property that I would say we could pay off in ten years if we made a goal of it. 

My goal of writing and publishing a book in one year might be a tall order, with everything else going on, but having a few published in ten years isn't.

Extend your time-table and take some pressure off yourself.

Decide what you want your life to look like in ten years and start putting together a detailed plan of how to get there.  Don't wait five months till the new year.  Start now!