To have it, you must already be it.  This is the law of resonance that says you attract to yourself what you are at a vibrational level.  This is what is meant by act as if you already have what you want.  Be that person that you want to be, and the successful trappings will come soon after.  We are all atoms and energy, constantly moving, constantly resonating.  It’s conscious, focused attention that molds those atoms and energy into form and action. 

In Quantum Physics, it's stated that whatever frequency you are at can only attract back to you something that matches that frequency.  Focus controls resonance; that’s why we have a Lucky Day, or bad things sometimes happen in three’s.  The law of resonance works in both directions, both good and bad.

Unless you are actively and consciously thinking, feeling and doing something different than you have been, you are part of the problems you complain about.

Expect bad things to happen, more often than not, you won't be disappointed. 

Another key ingredient is to incorporate Feeling into what you want, not just thinking.  This is what Greg Braden wrote in The Lost Mode of Prayer (great book by the way) where he said the key to prayer is to be that which you are praying for.  If you want peace, pray as if you are peace.  It you want rain, pray as if you are rain. 

Adding feeling to your prayers amplifies your broadcast into the Universe where all things are made. 

This is also where gratitude comes in.  Gratitude is an emotion.  If you shift your thoughts toward what you are grateful for, you will resonate at a level of gratitude, thus attracting other good things into your life. 

We must be willing to focus on what we want everyday!  All too often we live in fear, and get caught up in what we don't want.  Unfortunately, you're using a powerful emotion, fear, plus a movie in your mind of the feared situation and broadcasting it to the Universe.  You will find, all too often, that if you continue this, you will manifest many of these things that you fear instead of the things that you desire.

Don’t “need” it. 

Need is coming from a state of lack. Be the desire, not the desperation.  This is a fine line, of course.  You want to put a great deal of emotion into broadcasting your desires, but desparation is a negative emotion.  You need to try to come from an area of abundance, that the Universe is plentiful and will provide if you remain focused in your desires.

Stay open to how the Universe will deliver to you your desires.  If you get too caught up in five hundred pages of specifics on what you want, you may not notice when the Universe sends you similar opportunities for something as equally awesome as what you desire.

With that being said, I've come up with a seven step positive success plan to help manifest your desires. 

1.     Get Clear – know exactly what you want and why you want it, and for that matter, know what you don't want and why you don't want it. 

2.    Begin forming an action movie of what you desire – add all the senses into the movie as possible.  People have varying degrees of how they can imagine in their mind, don't get discouraged if you cannot attribute some sensations to your movie, like touch or taste.

3.    Go deeper into the movie until you end up with a feeling of deserving

4.    Pay attention to the opportunities the universe is presenting and take action. Start doing what you would need to do if you knew you could not fail.

5.    Celebrate each step of your success. – develops more gratitude and builds upon your success state of mind.

6.    Keep a success journal – nothing in it but your successes making it to your goal.

7.    Take stock every week of where you are in your goal – you may have to make constant adjustments to your environment to help you succeed.

You are a powerful and creative being.  This works both positively and negatively.  Go out and manifest to your heart's desire and make the world a more positive place.

I don’t sleep much.  I call it spring training for when our baby triplets come home from the hospital.  Part of it is stress-related insomnia, part of it is that, like many of you, my day is incredibly saturated.  I’ve made a habit of doing a bit of writing in the morning, when the mind is (supposedly) rested and has all that terrific gobbledy-gook swirling around from the night’s dreams of super models and alien probes (sometimes together in the same dream).   It helps break the fog of a relatively sleepless night and is honestly one of the most useful tools for everyday creative folks like you and I.

A great many of you may have heard of Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.   I’ve known many who’ve applied techniques from the book, even though they weren’t artists.  This is good information that can help anyone, in any walk of life.  The seminal practice from the book is her concept of Morning Pages, in which she coaches us to write three pages of, essentially, whatever is on our minds first thing in the morning. 

I’ve used this technique on and off (currently on again) for years and I find it immensely gratifying.  I literally feel lighter and freer for the analytical part of my day which is my corporate job.  I feel that I’ve started my day by accomplishing something useful, and have taken the time to nurture myself.  Over the years of playing with this concept, I’ve come up with a few hints.

 Tips for your own Morning pages:

1. It’s best to use pen and paper.  There is something about going through the process of longhand, instead of typing, that is less restrictive, more personal. 
2. Write about anything that is on your mind.  If nothing is on your mind, write, “There’s nothing on my mind.”  Something will come. 
3. Don’t let your inner critic wake up and have a say.  Make a deal with him that if he sleeps in, you’ll make him coffee (even Folgers) after your writing is done.  Don’t censor anything.  If it sounds sick and twisted, who cares?  You’re not listening or paying attention, you’re writing.
4. Do not pause to read what you’ve written.
5. When you’re done with your sheets, destroy them…particularly if you are concerned that someone else may read them 

Now, that last point is based on the recommendation by Julia Cameron to never go back and read your morning pages.  I will tell you, being as delightfully twisted as I am, I have gone back through my morning pages as a tool to write new poems.  I consider myself a stream of conscious poet (working on my first full-length poetry book…and if you are interested in my first poetry chapbook, drop me a line).  So what better fodder for poems than your morning stream of conscious pages?

I will sometimes take a day’s pages and go thru them, highlighting the lines that sound good as poetry, crossing out the one’s that don’t.  Then taking the lines and reordering them into a new, fresh poem.  In fact, maybe my next poetry collection will be called Aliens Vs. Supermodels.

I've also replayed some of my Morning pages into new post ideas.

If you don’t have the urge to purge your mind each morning, I would suggest another useful tactic that goes a bit faster and can also go a long ways to improving your happiness factor.  Write down five or more things to be grateful for.  Easy, right?  Maybe not at first.  Some of us aren’t born optimists, but here’s a fact that you all logically know…There will always be people who are better off than you, and some who are worse off than you.  It’s up to you to purposely not care.  Don't compare yourself to anyone else.  You have things to be grateful about in your life.  It behooves you to identify them. 

Now that I've written this and am at peace, it's time to wake up my inner critic.

Namaste,

-Charley

Photo by coffeeshopjournal.com

Owen's Screw Face impression

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately…not sure if that's a good thing…for the sake of discussion we'll pretend it is.

 With the newly introduced stresses in our lives (the wife and I…and the kids for that matter) I find myself seeking and trying to define the balanced life.  That is part of why I have this blog.  It becomes an experiment as well as a sounding board for my thoughts, right or wrong. 

I know of and have read about a number of parents who “obsess” for lack of a better term, about making every detail perfect for their children.  I assure you I mean no disrespect but I’m pretty certain that you will always wind up disappointed in this way, and the skeptic in me thinks that your kids may grow up to resent your perfectionism. 

I know that I’m just getting started with this parenting thing, and I have a lot to learn, but like most things in life, I don’t see the value in obsessing and wasting life energy trying to perfect everything.  Here’s me raising my hand in support of the 80/20 rule in parenting. 

Now don't flame me saying that if I 80/20-teach my children how to cross the street they'll be dead.  Consider fully and completely  teaching your children street safety one of those 20% activities that give you 80% of your parenting results.

I think if you spent more time applying 80/20 in life, you’d be a happier person and your children will pick up on that.  They don’t want to see mom or dad come home from work every day, shoulders slouched from the weight of worries and stress.

My current health challenges may be the result of stress, hopefully I will find out soon.  I am no better than most, when I get home from the day I am usually a shell of my better self.  I internalize and I know it.  Over time that spills out externally. 

I’m just giving myself a free pass to relax, whether anyone else agrees with that or not.  It’s my children who are the most important now, and what’s the value in them seeing their role models all burnt out by life?

Be there for your children emotionally…always, but don't over-parent.

Mama Nikki Update

Anyway, Mama Nikki is entering a new phase in her life.  Due to the costs of sending three babies to daycare daily to allow her to work versus the apparent lack of benefits, she’s agreed to take a temporary leave of absence to stay home and raise them.  This is difficult for her, I’m sure.  You spend a decade or more of your adult years trying to achieve some level of success in the corporate world and then you have to put that on hold for the benefit of your family, and redefine yourself as Mother.  I am proud of her for her decision, though I never wanted to be the one to push her in either direction.

A quick update on the babies

Owen is now also being treated for NEC as of this morning.  Unlike his brother, his X-Ray isn’t displaying the normal signs but they’ve noticed some significant changes in the waste collected as part of his colostomy bag so, to be safe and based on what’s happened to his brother, they have stopped his feeds and have him on antibiotics to help treat NEC.

Noah’s X-Rays appear to be improving.  In fact his progress is good enough that they’ve been sprinting him for six to eight hours a shift.  My little peanut, Bella is also sprinting upwards of four hours per shift and now that she is getting the lionshare of the breast milk, she is now starting to put on weight.

We are cautiously optimistic about the boys and couldn’t be happier about the nice rebound that Bella Marie has taken.  

I'm listening to a cacophany of ambulances and fire engines outside my window as I write this late at night (not uncommon in the city) and I am deeply thankful for my children's safety and health even though they are away from me in a hospital room.

- Papa Charley.

A nod to Sublime for the article title.  And now…

A short note tonight, about gratitude. Work is…decidedly stressful, though I am very grateful to have my job, and the babies with their health challenges also cause us a fair bit of stress.  Between the two, there isn't much time to unwind but I had a moment today.  As odd as it may seem, I got on my Trek bike to commute home, and the Buffalo city streets rarely have a lot of traffic.  I turned from Michigan onto Ohio street and caught a whiff of whatever lovely batch of cereal the Mills were cooking up. 

I just felt grateful in that moment.  I decided to rattle off a bunch of things that I was grateful for as part of my ride home.

I am so grateful…

1. To be free to smell the beauty of the moment.

2. To have the legs to ride my bike.

3. To have an awesome bike to take me where ever I need to go (as long as it isn't more than 20 miles, because I'm outta shape).

3.  To have a wonderful wife and three beautiful children to go home to (and visit in the hospital)

4.  To have a nice home to go relax in.

5.  To spend the moment listening to an inspiration speech by Matt Furey on my IPOD Touch.

6.  To have an IPOD Touch (damn, I love that thing).

7.  To live in a city with such an excellent hospital to take care of my kids.  Seeing my babies puts a smile on my face.  There's no other way to say it.

8.  To ride along a route that takes me by the Buffalo River.  Rivers and lakes seem to energize me.

9.  To be living a lifestyle that is largely free of the stresses of debt.

10.  To have my health about me, and my wife's as well.

Two minutes was all that took.  It snapped me out of a highly stressful day.  Just as easy as it is to get yourself in a downward spiral with negative thoughts (and believe you, me, I've made that an art form thanks to a fair bit of practice) it is also easy to spiral into positive thoughts.  Just one thought is all you need, to break the negative cycle.  One thing to be grateful for, even if it's just to have the sound mind to be able to think a positive thought.  Really, the world can take away everything you have, but it cannot take your thoughts.  That's the one thing you have control over, if you so choose to exercise it. 

I'm grateful to be going upstairs to bed with my wonderful wife.  Tomorrow I have an MRI and hopefully they can figure out why I am having some pretty nasty dizzy spells.  Till next we meet…

Namaste,

-Papa Charley