There's a terrific post up over at Illuminated Mind that's inspiring this article laid out before you.  While I don't always agree with the author, Jonathan Mead, the fact is that he nearly always stirs an emotion in me and that's what makes brilliant and effective writing. 

In his article, The Number One Self-Development Mistake, And the Fake Growth Addict, I saw much of myself in both the positive AND negative pictures he was working to paint. 

I am that seeker of knowledge who, for the last twenty years of my life (damn, I'm getting old) I have been pour through book after book of "esoteric" knowledge to try and "fix" me.  But "fix" implies that I'm broken, that there's something seriously wrong with me, and that I'm unhappy with my current state.

This is sad, really sad.

I have a dream life by many standards.  I have a terrific, well-paying job in a shytacular economy, I own several rental properties, have no consumer debt otherwise, have a beautiful wife and three beautiful, young babies.  I have some talent and aptitude for writing and making music and I get true joy out of sharing this with the world.

Yet somehow I feel like I'm still broken, that I need to be fixed. 

In this way, I am Jonathan's prototypical Fake Growth Addict.

I was trying to cure an invisible illness: my perceived inadequacy.

That inadequacy is a myth driven by the ego, and has nothing to do with real growth.

Yeah, that's me.  I've read enough books on spirituality to logically understand the concept that we are already whole and complete beings.  While the ego leads to some fun and rewarding pursuits, it really is hollow and we need to realize that.  Happiness is not found in the pursuit of a worthy goal.  Happiness just "is."  It is a state that you can decide to be in, just as you elect to be angry, sad, or otherwise. 

Jonathan's list of his own brushes with fake growth are what really resonated with me and wanted me to write an article "publicly" announcing my own foolish pursuits of personal growth:

• The pursuit of learning to be an early riser.  I hate the early morning, but it's a rite of passage for the self help industry.  You should hear me when I have to get up for the 4am feedings of the babies.  I'm positively grouchy and I hate every minute of it.  If I didn't have to do it for the babies, I wouldn't.  I'd much rather stay up late into the wee hours of the morning to get my writing done in solitude. 
• Reading a book just because other's claim the author is brilliant and life-changing.  I really hated reading Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer and especially Deepak Chopra.  I find their style of writing unbearable, yet they are all brilliant men with a brilliant message, but I have never, and will likely never, finish a book of theirs.  I haven't the patience to force my way thru to the message.  I'd much rather read Paulo Coelho.  Even on the fiction side, my reading sessions were quite brief of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, "The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao."  Another blogger I highly respect recommended the book but it's page after page of drivel about some poor, overweight kid trying to get laid.  I abandoned it after 70 pages.  Maybe this makes me an idiot; so be it.  Let me revel in the perfection that is my idiocy.
• I actually feel like I've been conned by the number of times I've bought music that was highly recommended to expand my horizons, and then got nothing out of it except anger and regret from wasting another $15 on a useless piece of plastic.  I used to feel stupid because I didn't "get it."
• I've tried to go Vegan a few times in my adulthood but man, I really like chicken wings.  I live in Buffalo after all.  I'm not adverse to trying again in the future, but I will hopefully come to it knowing that if I "fall off the wagon" that doesn't mean I'm a failure.
• Etc., Etc., Etc.

This is where self-improvement becomes detrimental, particularly when you're working from an Ego-centric model.  For each of those examples above, I felt like a failure when I was unable to complete or sustain the effort.  This inevitably made me feel worse than before I had the idea to try the pursuit or read the book.  To combat that failure feeling, I would then rush out to find the next quick fix for my broken self.

I've had numerous false starts lately in my 100 Item Challenge and also in finishing up my book.  These are not true failures.  They are experiments, and if I fail to follow through each time, so be it.  I may eventually find that the endeavor is not worth it.

I've heard it said numerous times that the way to ingrain a habit is to practice it for a few weeks straight.  Well, I've done this before numerous times, and then fallen off the wagon some months later.  So be it.  Maybe the motivation to really do that "thing" wasn't strong enough.  Maybe I was only doing that thing because I thought that's what an enlightenment person would do.  It's more enlightening to realize that this might not be true. 

So what's the answer?

If I'm able to recognize when I am being ego-centric in my self-development, then I can often divest myself of the feelings of inadequacy.  It is better to approach life as a human, being; meaning that I am a spiritual being who's chosen to manifest as a human, experiencing and being all that I can reasonably experience.  I'm here to learn, and that may mean learning by failure.  I'm here to share my gifts and to experience other people's gifts.  There is no true failure in this pursuit except for not "being," not trying.

Last night I was going through some old CD-ROM’s of files from the computers I have owned over the years and I found a little Brain Function executable program that asks you a series of twenty seemingly disjointed questions and evaluates your answers to tell you what kind of learner and person you are.  I couldn’t even tell you where I got this thing or who the software designer is.  It’s a silly little exercise but it only took five minutes of my time and it had sparked my curiosity so I went ahead and did it.

The subsequent evaluation told me I showed a strong dominance toward right-hemisphere thinking with an equally strong auditory processing preference, “a most unusual and conflicting set of characteristics” it exclaimed.  Well I am all about being unusual but I felt a little unnerved at what my little Netbook meant by conflicting so I read on.

The next paragraph got a little more personal where it said that I tended to perceive things in the whole while ignoring the details.  Netbook was now telling me that I was not very thorough.  I was beginning to feel indignant.  Next it said that I was emotional in my learning rather than logical and I inherently process material randomly.  “Inherently,” doesn’t sound good; it makes it seem like I have no control over that. 

Rather than organize or plan you attack materials voraciously.  It seems inefficient, but it serves you well.

Thanks for the assessment, Netbook.  This coming from a machine that takes five minutes to boot up and freezes if I run Microsoft Word while downloading the myriad of Internet Explorer patches. 

But he knew he was getting me mad so he threw in a half-hearted complement, "You can be a lyrical and fascinating speaker, if at times difficult to follow."  Yeah, okay so, what, are you following me around all day, Netbook?  While I may be prone to unusual or neurotic behavior, I certainly don’t sit there orating to my computer.  At least I don’t think I do.

He was setting me up for the fall.  He blindsided me with the next paragraph. 

You are disorganized and have piles of stuff lying everywhere.  Unfortunately you have a hard time relocating things unless you verbally state to yourself where you are putting something and then remind yourself what you are looking for when you need it.

Okay now wait just a gosh-darn-minute.  I am not disorganized.  But then I started wondering if Netbook has hidden cameras that I don’t know about.  The truth is that I have piles of files and loose papers all over the computer room.  I imagine that Netbook is a little upset that I come in and mess up his room everyday. 

In the next paragraph he said that “the antagonism between your right-brain and your auditory mode can lead others to consider you flaky.”  Now I was getting even more paranoid; I wondered what other people say about me behind my back.  Just as I am getting ready to squash his micro-processor with a sledge-hammer, Netbook dispenses a piece of advice that probably saved his silicon-based soul.  He said, “The danger that you face is perhaps being too casual in your cognition and sufficiently directed to complete projects or to meet expectations.” 

Then I realized he was right.  Netbook was trying a bit of tough love to get me to re-focus my efforts.  I am trying to set too many plates spinning on top of those long bamboo sticks like the jugglers you see in the circus.  The problem is that without sufficient momentum, they will all fall.  The point is to get one plate spinning with sufficient momentum so that it can go on its own with little additional effort from me.  Then you go on to the next plate to start spinning it.

So instead of committing deadly and violent laptop homicide, I gave my silicon-buddy a hug and decided I would try to reign in my efforts a little bit and concentrate on one project at a time.

Netbook, I love you Man!

I don’t sleep much.  I call it spring training for when our baby triplets come home from the hospital.  Part of it is stress-related insomnia, part of it is that, like many of you, my day is incredibly saturated.  I’ve made a habit of doing a bit of writing in the morning, when the mind is (supposedly) rested and has all that terrific gobbledy-gook swirling around from the night’s dreams of super models and alien probes (sometimes together in the same dream).   It helps break the fog of a relatively sleepless night and is honestly one of the most useful tools for everyday creative folks like you and I.

A great many of you may have heard of Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity.   I’ve known many who’ve applied techniques from the book, even though they weren’t artists.  This is good information that can help anyone, in any walk of life.  The seminal practice from the book is her concept of Morning Pages, in which she coaches us to write three pages of, essentially, whatever is on our minds first thing in the morning. 

I’ve used this technique on and off (currently on again) for years and I find it immensely gratifying.  I literally feel lighter and freer for the analytical part of my day which is my corporate job.  I feel that I’ve started my day by accomplishing something useful, and have taken the time to nurture myself.  Over the years of playing with this concept, I’ve come up with a few hints.

 Tips for your own Morning pages:

1. It’s best to use pen and paper.  There is something about going through the process of longhand, instead of typing, that is less restrictive, more personal. 
2. Write about anything that is on your mind.  If nothing is on your mind, write, “There’s nothing on my mind.”  Something will come. 
3. Don’t let your inner critic wake up and have a say.  Make a deal with him that if he sleeps in, you’ll make him coffee (even Folgers) after your writing is done.  Don’t censor anything.  If it sounds sick and twisted, who cares?  You’re not listening or paying attention, you’re writing.
4. Do not pause to read what you’ve written.
5. When you’re done with your sheets, destroy them…particularly if you are concerned that someone else may read them 

Now, that last point is based on the recommendation by Julia Cameron to never go back and read your morning pages.  I will tell you, being as delightfully twisted as I am, I have gone back through my morning pages as a tool to write new poems.  I consider myself a stream of conscious poet (working on my first full-length poetry book…and if you are interested in my first poetry chapbook, drop me a line).  So what better fodder for poems than your morning stream of conscious pages?

I will sometimes take a day’s pages and go thru them, highlighting the lines that sound good as poetry, crossing out the one’s that don’t.  Then taking the lines and reordering them into a new, fresh poem.  In fact, maybe my next poetry collection will be called Aliens Vs. Supermodels.

I've also replayed some of my Morning pages into new post ideas.

If you don’t have the urge to purge your mind each morning, I would suggest another useful tactic that goes a bit faster and can also go a long ways to improving your happiness factor.  Write down five or more things to be grateful for.  Easy, right?  Maybe not at first.  Some of us aren’t born optimists, but here’s a fact that you all logically know…There will always be people who are better off than you, and some who are worse off than you.  It’s up to you to purposely not care.  Don't compare yourself to anyone else.  You have things to be grateful about in your life.  It behooves you to identify them. 

Now that I've written this and am at peace, it's time to wake up my inner critic.

Namaste,

-Charley

Photo by coffeeshopjournal.com

Been musing today on why it’s so difficult in life for so many folks, myself included, to make lasting change.  I think that anyone who can bottle the answer to that will make millions of dollars but the problem with that is the solution can’t be bottled.  In fact, it’s so simple that nearly every one overlooks it.

In order to start something new, to start a new life, one must say goodbye to the past.  Read that again, in fact read it twice.  It’s so simple, yet quite profound.  And the issue is that, while the concept is simple, it most certainly isn’t easy.  We get quite comfortable in our box, making the same mistakes over and over until the neural pathways are burned as deep as a river through a mountain.  Break out of that pattern, establishing new neural pathways is damnably difficult.

This life change is a voluntary process.  You may or may not be responsible for the state that you’re in, but you are most certainly the key to getting yourself out. 

The first step is awareness of the life you want to leave behind.  The second step is realizing that you are empowered to make the changes necessary. 

You can choose to end the relationships that no longer serve you, that hold you back.  You can choose to end the negative thoughts that don’t serve you.  You can choose to end the beliefs that get in the way of your dreams. 

Self help books and seminars are merely tools.  No such tool can specifically make you better on its own.  If you’ve consumed a fair number of books and seminars on the subject, I don’t honestly think you need another.  You have the tools.  Some wonderful tools at that.   I wouldn’t wait for the next shiny tool to come out and take your money.  You, as the master creator of your world, must pick the tools to craft the life that you want to live.

What are you willing to do to get where you want to be?

Paper in Fire

Want an interesting way to say goodbye to the past?  Try this, pick a part of your past that you want to say goodbye to.  Perhaps you’re unhappy with your weight.  Think of some real-life situations in the past where you were made to feel bad about your weight.  Take out a piece of paper and write the situations down on paper trying to be as descriptive as possible, including as many of your five senses in the description. 

Then take the scenario and re-write it with an ending that is more positive and suitable to your tastes. 

Now’s the fun part, pick your favorite way to destroy the pieces of paper.  Shred and recycle them, send them down the river in a beer bottle, set fire to them (SAFETY FIRST!) and watch till they disintegrate in the heat, bury them deeply into the ground.  Whichever ritual you prefer, make note that you’re saying goodbye to the past.  Only then can you engage your new future.

Photo by Komal Soin

Inspired by the concept of the Bible’s Ten Commandments and my earlier Great Expectations Manifesto for my children, I thought that I would spend some time in meditation and come up with my own commandments list.  With complete reverence to the Bible version, I put together eleven sacred principles that I hope will guide my actions in my life.

I think this is a great process for anyone to go through for themselves and you may find, as I have, that some of them change over time.  Also, I don’t mean the list to be comprehensive, but they are definitely solid principles to live by.

 Charley’s Eleven Commandments

1. We are all One
2. Live simply so that others may simply live
3. Learn the lesson, then let go of the past
4. Action, not reaction
5. Slow and steady wins the race
6. Deeds, not Words
7. Embrace your Emotions
8. Be Love and Creativity
9. Foundations are the key to Strength
10. Those who persevere are rewarded
11. Share your gifts with the World

What would your commandments list look like?

Photo by wcm1111

Photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/drp/

I remember reading back in High School The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield.  In fact, I read this one summer after seeing my cousin Matt from Oregon bring it up for some light reading on a visit with us. 

I have forgotten more of this great book than I remember but I do recall quite vividly the first insight that has made a lasting impact on my life:  Pay attention to the coincidences in your life.  I am paraphrasing, but that is the essence of the first prophecy from that book.  As a side note, I pulled the book out of storage today to give it another go around.  As Henry Drummond is quoted as saying, "When you read a book through the second time, you don't see something in it you didn't see before, you see something in yourself that wasn't there before.”  Redfield's book was one of those life-changing moments for me.  It taught me that there were other roads to spirituality apart from Catholicism which I have personally perceived to be occasionally oppressive in practice. 

Okay, lost a little focus there, but stay with me, it comes together. 

So with a second cup of coffee, let's bridge the gap and get back to "Enthusiasm." 

I am reading another great book right now, by Paulo Coelho, The Pilgrimage (Plus).  Paulo is my favorite author, by the way, bar none.  His writing is beautiful, poetic and exemplifies the essence of spirituality.

I came across a passage that particularly struck me, that forced me to put down the book and meditate on the message given.  Just prior to the halfway mark of the book, the narrator, who is on the Road to Santiago to metaphorically find himself, illustrates a lesson with his guide on the concept of Agape, which is love powered by enthusiasm.  As children, we are absolutely fascinated by everything, from what is on our dinner plates, to the bugs crawling on concrete.  We approach learning with the greatest of enthusiasm, perhaps to impress others, but more likely because this world is actually a fascinating place, warts and all. 

At some point in pre-pubescence, this diminishes, perhaps due to peer pressure or from the constant barrage of mom and dad saying “Don’t touch that!”, and by the time we are adults, on our own, with the freedom to do whatever we wish, the world no longer fascinates us.  We fall into routine that, though malleable, we become stagnant for the rest of our lives.  We learn more in the first five years of our lives than we do in the remaining seventy-odd years.  The major reason this is so, I think, is because of enthusiasm, agape, this wild-eyed wonder about our world. 

The message that Coelho is trying to get across is that we need to re-awaken that enthusiasm in us, in order to break routine, in order to start building a life worth living.  There are exercises in the book that help to awake this.  I will not spoil the book otherwise.  It is a great read and for $14, the investment is most worthwhile.

So I set the book down at this point to meditate a few minutes on the concept of enthusiasm, and what this could bring to my writing and my music.  Then I picked up the latest edition of the magazine, The Writer, and started reading an article on a nineteen year old author who published her first book when she was ten.  She said the key to her writing success was Enthusiasm. 

That's where the first Celestine Prophecy regarding coincidences comes into play.  I ripped out the article and tucked it neatly in my Paulo Coelho book and then headed into my little computer room/studio.  For the next two hours I put enthusiasm to work and came up with five distinctly different song structures that I will be busily completing over the next few days.  I dabbled in some poetry as well, in the hopes of completing my second manuscript and I even came up with a unique perspective on creative practice that I will share on Friday.  It was one of those rare moments where the Muse was speaking quite clearly to me. 

Walter Russell (see Yesterday’s post) also believed in the importance of enthusiasm for one’s work and even went so far as to state that he believed it to be the key to staying strong and vibrant as we age.

I hope to be able to capture that moment more regularly with my net of enthusiasm.  Anyway, that's all for now, it feels like it’s going to be a great day today.

Peace,

Charley

I recently read this very short tome from author Glen Clark, The Man Who Tapped the Secrets of The Universe.  It clocks in at 61 pages and is a read that can be completed in an hour or so, my kind of book. 

This is an inspirational classic about the life of Renaissance man, Walter Russell.  I hadn't heard of this gentleman before, but he's considered the to be the individual who coined the term New Age, according to Amazon.com, so I was intrigued. 

Short Bio

Briefly, so that we can get to the heart of the matter, Walter Russell was born in 1871 and died in 1963.  History views him as a genius in many different subjects.  According to Wikipedia he was known for his achievements in painting, sculpture, architecture, physics and cosmogony (theorizing on the origin of the Universe).  It's alleged that he was contracted to create a bust of Thomas Edison despite the fact that he had never created a sculpture previously. 

Here is a man touched by God, who lived to his full potential and I was intrigued as to what his personal beliefs about creativity were. 

You'll find the book is not structured in your typical self-help format with chapter headings on specific principles.  Instead, the author imparts liberal sections of dialogue between he and the author, almost like the student asking the teacher questions.  It makes for an interesting read.

What follows are my five favorite success principles from this book.  I've given my own names to the principles since, as said above, they aren't specifically named in the book.   

The Importance of Love

One of the key concepts that drove Mr. Russell was the love of his work.  In his mind, if you can't do your work with love then just quit.  It's disheartening in modern society to hear fo so many people who do work that they despise just so they can have a paycheck to finance their lifestyles.  This is a fundamental principle that I am taking to heart.  I do what I love when I create, when I blog, when I write music, when I write poetry.  These are the things that truly make me happy.

If what you are doing every day is something you hate, then your poisoning yourself and, whatever you create is poison to others.  A meal cooked without love just tastes different. 

One Step Beyond

Another principle of Russell's was that life is a game of inches.  To achieve Greatness, one need only go one step beyond mediocrity.  Of course the devil is in the details.  It's not easy going that last inch.  In fact, it's damn near impossible, according to Russell, until you realize the true divinity within you.  A divine spirit would not settle for being mediocre. 

The Agony Gift of Defeat

Russell believed that defeat was the stepping stone to success.  While many of us wallow in our past failures, it's prudent to not just learn from your mistakes, but to understand that a defeat simply provides impetus for your next great victory.

Communing with the Infinite

Russell believed that meditation between the Self and the Infinite (Universal Consciousness) is the only way to achieve great things.  He cautions to not spend time on the trivial, a principle that I firmly believe in.  It sounds conspiratorial, but it almost seems like great powers conspire against us by bombarding us with trivial diversions every hour of our lives.  That's why it really takes a strong, motivated soul to push past all of that nonsense and get to the heart of what matters. 

Shut everything out, find a quiet place, alone, and meditate with your stillness.  If you are alone from the distractions long enough you will tap into the Infinite mind and hear the whisperings of the Universe.  Practically speaking, I like to write in the wee hours of the late night/ early morning because of that stillness.  Every one is asleep and the distractions of television, neighbors and to-do lists are gone.  It is just me, tapping into the Infinite for a few words to share with everyone else. 

Give More (in creation) Than You Take

The world needs demonstration more than instruction, so states Russell.  It is so important to find and develop your gifts, and share them with the world.  This is one of the Foundational principles that this blog is built on.  You know you've found your gift when in the process of doing some task, or creating some thing, you feel yourself overcome with exstacy.  This is the porthole to the genius mind. 

This is why you are here on this Earth.  You do no one any good by being miserable.  You are here to reach your potential and share your gifts.

This is a terrific little book full of lessons on every page.  At a mere sixty-one pages, some may balk at purchasing such a book.  For those of you with an IPOD Touch or Kindle, you can get the digital version for $2.99 at Amazon.  I think it's worth the cost of the print book as well, as I've read this book again and again, each time I need a quick inspirational pick-me-up.  I hope you've found some value in this article and put it to good use in your life.