I've written recently about my desire to slow down and let change happen.  Part of that post contained the following text:

Absorbing and regurgitating self-help books at lightening speed is like taking a sip from a fire hose.

I do truly believe that enlightenment can be found in books, but unless it is applied in a practical nature, it is going to be fleeting, at best.

So, I've been journaling on what the most effective methods would be for getting the most out of my reading experience and decided that I would share some of my thoughts on the subject.

Read Less, But Read Regularly

Now, if you don't read at all, "Read Less" is not very helpful advice.  But if you are a voracious reader like myself, you may find stepping back a bit to be helpful to your ability to retain more information.

I am trying to scale things back by 50% (not just in reading, but life in general).  Over the last five years, I've averaged about thirty self-help books a year, with a couple of novels mixed in.  I am probably on the low side of many readers out there.  I also had a nasty habit of reading several books at once due to my varied interests.

I am making a goal one self-help book a month.  And it becomes a To Do item with a due date.

The other important point here is to make it a regularly scheduled part of your day to read.  It can be as little as fifteen minutes, but probably should not be more than an hour if you have other important tasks that need to get done.

This being November 1st, I am dedicating this month to Do Less, Achieve More by Chin-Ning Chu.  I will provide my notes on this book sometime early in December, provided the book passes the next step.

Don't Waste Your Time on Books that Don't Interest You

There's a reason why the number one rule for writers is to hook the reader immediately.  If you find yourself thirty to forty pages into a book and you're not sure why your reading this, then put it down and go onto something else.  Life is too short to waste your time on books that aren't interesting.

Sure, we've all run into an instance where we've broken this rule and been rewarded with a truly great read in the end.  I remember one particular summer after college where I persevered through Atlas Shrugged despite how dry it was early on, but it also so happened to be a time in my life when I was out of work and had plenty of time to blow.

Use your own judgement here, as with everything, but there are so many thousands of great books out there that you don't need to waste your time through something that may end up being sub-standard.

The corollary to this is that you should spend some time finding an interest first and therefore be in tune with what you want to learn.

Take Notes

Some folks like to write notes in the margins of the book.  All the power to you, to each their own, yada yada yada.

I'm partial to my Moleskine journal, specific to the purpose of writing down the best stuff that I learn.  I've always said that my journals are the most valuable books I own.

I suggest you don't just take notes like you would as a student for a test.  Write down your thoughts and feelings about the material that you're reviewing.

This is as critical a piece to the learning process as is the actual reading of the books.  That means you should take a few minutes, after each block of time reading to do this task.  I actually prefer to take the notes as I read.

Really get into this, noting how the material can help you achieve your dreams and goals.  If you're unable to find the value of the material than you should go back to Step 2 and really consider whether the book is worth your time.

Put It to The Test

Okay, now that you've put this much work in, don't let it die a slow death in the recesses of a dusty, withering (or is it weathering?) journal.  Take three to four weeks to put the material to use in your own life.  Better yet, make the whole month your trial as you read the book.

Document your life experiment as you go.

Treat your life as an experiment.  Even when you think you've got it, don't just relax into your comfort zone.  We are here to grow, to learn and to share.

Share Your Experiences

Yeah, this really is the final test.  You've learned it, you've applied it, now try and teach it.  The best way to show you've learned something and flatter an author is to write about your experiences.  If you blog, write an article about it, or write a review on Amazon…something more personal than "I really liked this book."  You can even mentor someone else with your new found skills.

Yes, this is a lot more work than blitzing through one book after another, but it's also more effective and you may find that you won't yearn for the next great secret in the pages of another book (I too, am guilty as charged).

I've decided to make my book reading experience more valuable to me and hopefully to my readers.  I will be putting these steps into practice each month and share it as a more personal, hands-on type of book review.  Like everything here at Scribe For The Tribe, the triplets set the schedule (Noah is in charge for November…which means no schedule) but I will try to get them in once a month.

On an unrelated note, November is National Novel Writer's Month where writers from all over the place come together and throw out the inner critic to whip together 50,000 or more words in thirty days to make a first draft of a novel.  I've participated in this for each of the last five years, but due to the three new babies, I've taken a pass at it this year.  It's great fun (if you consider pounding out an average of 1667 words a day fun) so do check in out at NaNoWriMo.

I feel like I’ve lost a lot of momentum lately, like I’m half the person I was a few weeks ago.  My spiritual mojo is shot lately.  My will to do things is there, but the energy and time is not.

It troubled me and I meditated on it a bit while feeding my son, Noah this morning.  I’ve been irritable, prone to angry outbursts and saying things that I don’t mean.  In all honesty, I’ve thought several times recently whether this was all worth it.  I realize my honesty will open me up to criticism, but this is my public sounding board so I accept it.

I felt like the children were taking up too much time and energy (all of it), and my day job of managing large-scale projects was draining my reserves.  My ego-driven psycho-babble self was feeling resentful that I’ve had to give up a great many enjoyable tasks (music, writing, exercise etc.) already.

As a general rule, I don't want to become another example of a generation living only to support the next generation and so I felt threatened when my dreams were put on hold yet again.

I’m not proud of any of this.  I’m far from being a perfect person, and while I feel a little better admitting this, I still need to address it and fix it (i.e. get the Ego to take a back seat).

So as I sat with Noah, feeding him, staring at his big, beautiful eyes, admitting my imperfections and vowing for the one hundredth time that I would do better, I figured out what's been happening.

My brain doesn't know what to do with all of this yet.

It's all new, all the sensations, the stress, the belief that every triplet's cry is a screeching firedrill, that the success of a work project rests solely on my shoulders.  It's blowing out my comfort zone and until my brain can burn the new neural pathways to handle this, I have to admit that I will keep making mistakes, that I will continue to be an irritable, pathetic mess, and that my wife and children are saints for putting up with me.

This is why I haven't the energy to write more than a few scattered words, to embrace the challenges at work with continuity, to handle the stresses of screaming babies with grace and patience.

It's times like these when you have to stop forcing it.

Let the brain build the neural pathways so that new actions and new  habits can be ingrained.

Absorbing and regurgitating self-help books at lightening speed is like taking a sip from a fire hose.  Your brain adapts at its own speed and despite what the Law of Attraction proponents say otherwise, it may take you longer to adapt than it would the next person.  It make take a lot longer to adapt than you can process information.

That's okay.

I'm realizing that it's not a race between me and "X blogger" to see who can put out a book or who can get to 5,000 subscribers first.

You should be focusing on creating the best "you," not a poor facsimile of someone else.

It's in these moments I am reminded of the wisdom of detachment, in passively viewing as you let your life unfold naturally rather than forcing every particular technique and life hack (no disrespect to lifehack.org, I am a fan) into your routine.  You may seek success, but take the time to understand, apply, and integrate the new thoughts and processes.  Don't just jump onto the next great thing.

So, for me, that means slowing down a bit, letting the new habits of parenthood burn their pathways into my brain first, since they are the most important.  Then from there, evaluate to see if I am ready for the next area of growth, whatever that may be.

I've spoken about slowing down several times lately, but the Ego keeps creeping in to try to push me to the next level.  While I would love to be a full time blogger/writer so that I can stay home and be a better parent/husband to my kids and wife, I need to focus first on the be the better parent/husband part, then worry about the other goals later…and most importantly, I need to be okay with that decision…and that's the hardest part.

If you're anything like me, you spend much of your days wishing for more.  If I could just have another couple hundred dollars in my paycheck to cover baby expenses, I'd be set, I tell myself.

A few hundred dollars more and I could afford a nice vacation each year, maybe to exotic beaches and fantastic lands.

My home is nice, but a bigger one would be better, right?  More room for the kids to run around and less bumping into each other or tripping over stuff.

We want more.  That's why we set goals, why we rarely enjoy the things we have, the accomplishments we have made.  We always have our eye on something more.

You will never have enough…

I won't pretend to know who you are, those of you who are reading this.  Chances are you have your own great challenges that I can only imagine, just as I, as blessed as I am, have my own challenges and tests of character.  I type these words hoping that we have a mutual understanding and respect.

I can make a basic assumption about you, that if you have the means and the opportunity to read this online, your basic needs are taken care of.  You have clothing (though you may not be wearing it at the moment).  You have shelter, possibly modest, but none the less sufficient to keep you safe from the elements.  You are adequately fed to the degree that you choose.

You obviously have access to a computer, whether it be a public one from the library or one of your own.

You may feel like you have no one who loves you in the world but they are there, somewhere, I assure you.

You Have Everything You Need…

Please don't think that I preach against coveting and goal setting.  A big part of what makes life special is setting goals and striving.  I have little patience for bloggers who advocate a life of navel-gazing and doing less…way less.

It's a matter of finding "enough."  And that concept of enough is a personal quest.  No blogger can determine this for you.  That's why keeping up with the Joneses is such a foolish endeavor.  Learn to think for yourself and make your own decisions.

It's terrific to find inspiration from others, but don't covet what your neighbor has.  The better that you can define your level of contentment, the easier it will be to bring that to fruition.

A blog post isn't going to tell you what you want.  Like each of these levels, it is deeply personal and if you can habitually unplug from external stimuli, and really explore the question of "What do I want to create in my life?" only then will you truly be able to craft an authentic life.

I feel like I am waking up a bit (finally!) and have begun to quite publicly, on this blog, question my previous actions, create a new future, and enjoy a bit of what is happening now.  When you realize that you are empowered to do this, it doesn't matter as much what is going on with the economy or what the Joneses have down the street that you don't.

Hopefully this sparks those of you who need it to do the same.

Note: I took a short break from posting last week in order to assess what this whole new parenting of triplets thingy was going to do with my time.  I'm coming back with the intent to post two to three articles a week for the foreseeable future as this is what my time allows.  I attempted to post on Sunday but the blogging Gods thrice conspired (yes I said thrice) against me as my host kept crashing as I wrote the article.

I appreciate everyone's time and patience and thank you for visiting the site.

Last night I was going through some old CD-ROM’s of files from the computers I have owned over the years and I found a little Brain Function executable program that asks you a series of twenty seemingly disjointed questions and evaluates your answers to tell you what kind of learner and person you are.  I couldn’t even tell you where I got this thing or who the software designer is.  It’s a silly little exercise but it only took five minutes of my time and it had sparked my curiosity so I went ahead and did it.

The subsequent evaluation told me I showed a strong dominance toward right-hemisphere thinking with an equally strong auditory processing preference, “a most unusual and conflicting set of characteristics” it exclaimed.  Well I am all about being unusual but I felt a little unnerved at what my little Netbook meant by conflicting so I read on.

The next paragraph got a little more personal where it said that I tended to perceive things in the whole while ignoring the details.  Netbook was now telling me that I was not very thorough.  I was beginning to feel indignant.  Next it said that I was emotional in my learning rather than logical and I inherently process material randomly.  “Inherently,” doesn’t sound good; it makes it seem like I have no control over that. 

Rather than organize or plan you attack materials voraciously.  It seems inefficient, but it serves you well.

Thanks for the assessment, Netbook.  This coming from a machine that takes five minutes to boot up and freezes if I run Microsoft Word while downloading the myriad of Internet Explorer patches. 

But he knew he was getting me mad so he threw in a half-hearted complement, "You can be a lyrical and fascinating speaker, if at times difficult to follow."  Yeah, okay so, what, are you following me around all day, Netbook?  While I may be prone to unusual or neurotic behavior, I certainly don’t sit there orating to my computer.  At least I don’t think I do.

He was setting me up for the fall.  He blindsided me with the next paragraph. 

You are disorganized and have piles of stuff lying everywhere.  Unfortunately you have a hard time relocating things unless you verbally state to yourself where you are putting something and then remind yourself what you are looking for when you need it.

Okay now wait just a gosh-darn-minute.  I am not disorganized.  But then I started wondering if Netbook has hidden cameras that I don’t know about.  The truth is that I have piles of files and loose papers all over the computer room.  I imagine that Netbook is a little upset that I come in and mess up his room everyday. 

In the next paragraph he said that “the antagonism between your right-brain and your auditory mode can lead others to consider you flaky.”  Now I was getting even more paranoid; I wondered what other people say about me behind my back.  Just as I am getting ready to squash his micro-processor with a sledge-hammer, Netbook dispenses a piece of advice that probably saved his silicon-based soul.  He said, “The danger that you face is perhaps being too casual in your cognition and sufficiently directed to complete projects or to meet expectations.” 

Then I realized he was right.  Netbook was trying a bit of tough love to get me to re-focus my efforts.  I am trying to set too many plates spinning on top of those long bamboo sticks like the jugglers you see in the circus.  The problem is that without sufficient momentum, they will all fall.  The point is to get one plate spinning with sufficient momentum so that it can go on its own with little additional effort from me.  Then you go on to the next plate to start spinning it.

So instead of committing deadly and violent laptop homicide, I gave my silicon-buddy a hug and decided I would try to reign in my efforts a little bit and concentrate on one project at a time.

Netbook, I love you Man!

Wallace D Wattles

There is a negative force in nature and a positive force in nature. In each case, we are the catalyst by our thoughts and actions. That’s why it’s not a great idea to spend your energy talk about how sick you are, or how out of shape you are, or the symptoms you have. That just reaffirms that you are unhealthy. It sends a message out to the universe that you are ill, and you will continue to be ill. We often do this in order to get sympathy from others. Sick people seem to always talk about being sick. I know many who are this way and I have been guilty of it myself, from time to time.

One of the keys to living constructively, according to Wallace D. Wattles’ The Talk That Builds Health, is to break the habit of seeking sympathy from others. It’s a hard habit to break, this pursuit of sympathy. It feels nice to be comforted by others. The problem is that it affects your subconscious, to complain about everything in your life.

In essence, you’re going around trying to find someone to feel sorry for you. And your subconscious becomes more resolved to carry on the reality of your misery.

It is impossible to dwell on your misery and expect to move forward in your life constructively.

Conversely, don’t pay any mind to people who talk about their own sicknesses. Don’t pity someone who is sick. That is not helpful. It adds more to the energy of the sickness. The same is true if you weep because another is weeping. What value is there in now having two people who are miserable?

Better to try to get them to laugh with you instead.  You'll both enjoy the healing powers.

If you have people in your life that constantly talk about sickness or constantly complain, just walk away. You do not owe a debt to anyone and they are no friend of yours to pass along all of that negative energy.

Every thought that you think is either constructive or destructive.  Therefore, the key to success, the key to attaining everything you desire is to make every thought and action constructive (paraphrased from Wattles).

If your words and actions aren’t building health, they are destroying it.

Affirm, “there is only one mind. I am that mind. That mind only knows health. I am that mind. I am health.” – Wallace D. Wattles.

I revived this piece of writing because I had previously alluded to some health issues that I was seeing the doctor about.  I am loathe to write about them, in spite of this, but I think it will make a good post when I tie it in with some self remedies.  So, expect something about this on Friday.