Noah (left) Getting the Stare-down from Bella and Owen
I missed the normal Three for Thursday write-up this week because we were told that Noah would be coming home on Friday and I didn't want to jinx anything, since we had several go-home dates come and go on Owen.
I am pleased to say that Noah did in fact come home late yesterday afternoon so now our Children's hospital phase is over.
I can't say enough good things about Women and Children's of Buffalo and the NICU area. Despite a few bumps along the way, we got wonderful care and the fact is, they saved the lives of our three babies. For that, I am truly thankful.
Noah's not coming home without his challenges. His torso looks like he's been in a drive-by shooting with all the scars. Five new ones from the double hernia surgery, as it turns out.
Noah Giving me the Finger
He looks sickly and tiny compared to the other two. At 7lbs 3oz, he's actually lost weight in the last week and we commented that he looks like one of those poor babies you see on the commercials for poverty-stricken countries. It's heart-wrenching for us, but at least we know that we have more resources available to us that those other poor children do not.
He's not up to full-feeds yet, so I was a bit surprised that they sent him home. He eats about 60% what the others do and he's on five oral meds, including a new one added after we got home when the hospital called us to tell us he tested positive for another bladder infection, his fifth by my count.
He didn't sleep well his first night, which means we didn't sleep well. It's to be expected, but I feel bad for him. He whimpered most of the night and apart from when we held him for the over night feeds, he was largely inconsolable. He's currently sitting in a swing behind me now and still whimpering. It's all new to him, and he'll come along. We're more worried about nursing him back to health.
Noah - Note the tiny arms and legs and the giant scar across his Belly.
The other two babies are both well over 8lbs and Bella looks like she's the furthest along. She looks twice the size of Noah and is already teething. This makes her quite cranky, as I've said before, and as such, she's not quiet very often.
Owen seems unphased by it all. When we put them all on the blanket for the first picture above, we then took to attending and feeding the other two with my wife's aunt Robin being at the house. And Owen just stayed on the blanket for over an hour without much complaint.
Each baby is on different Formula and Noah's has to be special ordered at $30 a can. I spent over $120 on meds yesterday (just for Noah and that's with Insurance) and spend about $500 on formula a month. Couple that with over a hundred a month on diapers and I've come to the conclusion that babies are expensive (understatement).
So what happens from here?
Well, I'll still update the site on the babies from time to time. It's no longer the focus of the blog. I've found that I typically only have time to write a couple hundred words here and there at a time, due to the family responsibilities which will ALWAYS come first.
This blog is about what interests me, and while a big part of that is family, it's also metaphysics, religion, simple living, minimalism, productivity, health, finance, poetry, music, and the occasional rant. It's about mindful living in every facet of my life with lessons that I track for posterity and pass on to anyone who is interested.
I'm still working on a simple living book, which is as much a tool for me and my family as I hope it can be for you. No, it is not regurgitated information from my blog. I haven't decided whether it will be an eBook or paperback but I will likely put it out myself rather than spend the time to shop it to publishers and wait several years for one to maybe take an interest and get it out there.
The posting schedule is still a couple of times a week which is quite reasonable given the three new priorities in my life. I enjoy writing this blog very much and will continue to do it as long as it remains enjoyable. When I stop enjoying it, I'll shut it down. I'm pleased that so many of you take time out of your busy schedules to come read this.
My family thanks you for your support during the last five months since the babies were born.
Filed under Triplets by
Okay, all apologies but Angry Charley's feathers are ruffled again. Much of my better writing comes as a result of this so hopefully this is of some value to you, even if it's only for entertainment.
By day I am a project manager for one of the largest companies of its sector in the world. I work on projects that take multiple years to develop, cost tens of millions of dollars to implement, span multiple countries, and usually involve several project managers, in various countries, with differing grasps of a common language, both on the business and IT side. Not bragging, just laying out a few credentials so we're clear on where I am coming from.
I'm not just shooting from the hip.
So I get awful tweaked when I see the current trend of articles that admonish multitasking in favor of single-tasking, some written by folks who've never spent a day in a corporate setting.
If you think that it's quite simple to just bow out of meetings, say "no" when your boss puts something on your desk and says it needs to be done by EOB, or give the brush off when coworkers come to you with questions because you're a subject matter expert…etc., I (strongly) suggest that you're out of touch with the Corporate world.
There are ramifications to blowing off people and tasks at work, chief among them being, you'll find, with your new found unpopularity, few will be willing to help you when you need it.
Is this a diatribe in defense of multitasking?
Not so. In principal I agree, multitasking is less efficient. Guess what? Large Corporations are less efficient.
Despite that, I think true multitasking is ill-defined by the average productivity blogger.
I'm not playing semantics, but if you jump from a meeting to writing a report, to firing off a dozen emails, to answering interruptions at your desk, to another meeting, to returning phone calls, to another meeting, you're not multitasking. You're actually only doing one task at a time. You're freakin' busy, that's all.
True multitasking is writing your report while you're sitting on a teleconference, during which time one of the attendees will inevitably ask you a question and you'll respond with, "sorry can you repeat that?" You weren't paying attention and now you're wasting everyone's time.
True multitasking is screwing around with your Crackberry while you should be paying attention to a meeting that you are actually in attendance for. Everyone there can see you screwing around with your Crackberry even when you try to hide it under the table.
True multitasking is ploughing through your email while you're cramming a sandwich down your pie-hole during the five minutes that used to be called the one-hour lunch. Guilty of that on a daily basis.
Again, you're just damn busy and you don't need a lecture on single-tasking versus multitasking. You need focus while still being a team player.
Blogging advice about blowing off meetings is great unless you're an integral part of a project or a subject matter expert. Then you come off like a dyck for not respecting the importance that others may attribute to the subject of the meeting.
Cutting your emails down to three or four sentences is great unless you're trying to answer an important and complex question or giving requirements for a project. Then when your recipient doesn't understand what you wrote because you couldn't be bothered to explain yourself, let's see how many emails go back and forth before every one is clear.
Take the couple minutes to be clear with your writing. Focus on the task at hand.
My passion is writing and my favorite form of communication is the written word, but sometimes a phone call or a quick meeting goes a hell of a lot further than shooting off unclear, three sentence emails. Then once you have it clear, you can fire off your three sentence email confirming the direction as discussed on the phone call/meeting. Yeah, it takes longer, but you've focused on the task and gotten it done.
If you're the one sitting around being "not busy" guess what will happen when push comes to shove? Chances are, you may find yourself out the door.
So what's the solution? If you want to sit around doing nothing all day, just keep doing what you're doing. Otherwise, there really isn't one. You can GTD all you like (not a fan) and get bogged down with your systems so you can't see the forrest for the trees.
You can try to set up blocks of time to do certain tasks but you need to remain flexible. For example, scheduling 9-10am as eMail hour works so long as no one schedules a meeting during that hour. Otherwise, move your hour.
And yes, in case you're wondering, you are a dyck if you block that hour on your calendar every day so that no one can schedule anything with you.
Aside from flexibility and going with the flow, the other key is focus. If you get confused easily and it takes you several minutes to jump from task to task, there may be nothing you can do except try your best to focus quickly on the new task. The Corporate world isn't going to wait on you while you figure out how to switch gears.
There will be some days that you'll get nothing done on your to do list. We like to call those weekdays. So be it. Amazingly, progress is still made by your company and it really is more about them than it is about you and your GTD lists. If you think it's only about you, start your own company and hire a bunch of people who think it is only about them. See how that feels after a few weeks and then leave me a comment.
With that being said, I am going to go back to concentrating on the things in life that I can simplify, those things that won't get me fired, or worse, made the subject of ridicule at the water cooler.
Ok, I'm done ranting.
Namaste.
Filed under Productivity by
Bella...Almost Happy?
Each Thursday, for the near future, I give updates on how our baby triplets are doing in the hospital. They were born May 28th at 27 weeks gestational age. Bella Marie born 1lb 14oz, Owen Charles born 1lb 14oz, and Noah Anthony born 2lb 4oz.
Tomorrow morning Noah (still in the hospital) will have hernia surgery. We knew he's needed it for several months and they've told us that this is one of the last steps before he comes home. Terrific news for us, and we're cautiously optimistic. The kids will be five months old very soon and we feel that we're missing out on some very important development time with Noah that we will never get back.
It's very hard with the two at home. I haven't seen Noah in nearly two weeks, and Nikki has been able to get up there a couple of times. But with Owen on the heart-rate monitor, we can't really let anyone babysit him unless they've gone through the infant CPR class and are taught how to work the monitor.
Owen - Easy Like a Sunday Morning
I don't get to see my wife very much either. I work all day and then I come home to have a quick dinner with my wife and we try to get her to go to bed soon after while I watch the kids. I'll watch them and get their feeds in till about 1:00am and then Nikki takes over again.
When all three are home, it will be tougher. I imagine that we'll both have to get up for feeds each time, since it takes nearly an hour to feed and hold each baby upright to prevent their Reflux issues from bringing all of the food back up.
If anyone has any tips on how to save time feeding three babies, we'd appreciate it if you could share in the comments below.
There are some tremendously gratifying moments. I can see and appreciate each of them grow and fill out their clothes. Owen has gone from a rather scrawny baby to really filling out, particularly in the face over the last week. The pics in this post are from tonight. Owen didn't appreciate the flash.
Bella…she cries nearly all the time that she's awake. At least at night when I am home watching her. I've been sitting here for three and a half hours now while my wife is sleeping and Bella is crying now as I write. She's either been crying or sleeping this entire time. I've taken several breaks while writing this to try to console her.
I don't seem to have the patience for it. The sound really grates on me and I feel horrible for her as well as for my ability to tolerate it. The moments are so rare when she is smiling and happy that I really try to appreciate.
Owen, by contrast, is quite mellow. He really doesn't cry unless he's starving or if Bella's crying gets him going. I think this is the hardest for me, trying to deal with her near-constant crying. Owen has not so much as cried once in this three and a half hour period. His monitor has gone off a few times, for not breathing often enough, mostly.
The Pediatrician thinks that it's just a problem with the iron supplement she is on and the thick formula preventing her from being regular but she refuses to let us change either. She also thinks Bella may be teething already. As such, she's not a very happy baby these days.
Last night she cried for nearly eight hours straight from 11pm to 7am this morning. We got no sleep and I expect more of the same tonight with the way she is acting right now.
I just want her to be happy. And I just want some peace and rest. And I want to be able to hang out with my wife.
Yes, I'm whining a bit. Just a little tired and since I pay for this domain I get to use it as my sounding board.
In many ways my life has become simpler these last few weeks. I haven't choices on what to do nor time to spend figuring out what to wear or what to eat. I often eat on my feet and I throw on whatever is (semi) clean for work in the morning. I know it's all temporary…this, too, shall pass, and there will be wonderful times coming. Still trying to figure out the flow. We'll get there.
Filed under Triplets by
If you're anything like me, you spend much of your days wishing for more. If I could just have another couple hundred dollars in my paycheck to cover baby expenses, I'd be set, I tell myself.
A few hundred dollars more and I could afford a nice vacation each year, maybe to exotic beaches and fantastic lands.
My home is nice, but a bigger one would be better, right? More room for the kids to run around and less bumping into each other or tripping over stuff.
We want more. That's why we set goals, why we rarely enjoy the things we have, the accomplishments we have made. We always have our eye on something more.
You will never have enough…
I won't pretend to know who you are, those of you who are reading this. Chances are you have your own great challenges that I can only imagine, just as I, as blessed as I am, have my own challenges and tests of character. I type these words hoping that we have a mutual understanding and respect.
I can make a basic assumption about you, that if you have the means and the opportunity to read this online, your basic needs are taken care of. You have clothing (though you may not be wearing it at the moment). You have shelter, possibly modest, but none the less sufficient to keep you safe from the elements. You are adequately fed to the degree that you choose.
You obviously have access to a computer, whether it be a public one from the library or one of your own.
You may feel like you have no one who loves you in the world but they are there, somewhere, I assure you.
You Have Everything You Need…
Please don't think that I preach against coveting and goal setting. A big part of what makes life special is setting goals and striving. I have little patience for bloggers who advocate a life of navel-gazing and doing less…way less.
It's a matter of finding "enough." And that concept of enough is a personal quest. No blogger can determine this for you. That's why keeping up with the Joneses is such a foolish endeavor. Learn to think for yourself and make your own decisions.
It's terrific to find inspiration from others, but don't covet what your neighbor has. The better that you can define your level of contentment, the easier it will be to bring that to fruition.
A blog post isn't going to tell you what you want. Like each of these levels, it is deeply personal and if you can habitually unplug from external stimuli, and really explore the question of "What do I want to create in my life?" only then will you truly be able to craft an authentic life.
I feel like I am waking up a bit (finally!) and have begun to quite publicly, on this blog, question my previous actions, create a new future, and enjoy a bit of what is happening now. When you realize that you are empowered to do this, it doesn't matter as much what is going on with the economy or what the Joneses have down the street that you don't.
Hopefully this sparks those of you who need it to do the same.
Note: I took a short break from posting last week in order to assess what this whole new parenting of triplets thingy was going to do with my time. I'm coming back with the intent to post two to three articles a week for the foreseeable future as this is what my time allows. I attempted to post on Sunday but the blogging Gods thrice conspired (yes I said thrice) against me as my host kept crashing as I wrote the article.
I appreciate everyone's time and patience and thank you for visiting the site.
Filed under Minimalism, Power Thoughts by
Uncle Antnee, Owen, Aunt Lissa and Bella
Each Thursday, for the near future, I give updates on how our baby triplets are doing in the hospital. They were born May 28th at 27 weeks gestational age. Bella Marie born 1lb 14oz, Owen Charles born 1lb 14oz, and Noah Anthony born 2lb 4oz.
A short note about my article posting frequency…I went back to work yesterday so that I could save the bulk of my remaining vacation for when Noah comes home. I've tried a few times to sit down and write a post yesterday and today, but the babies would get fussy and require attention. They are my primary focus right now.
Despite my best efforts to continue the five day a week posting schedule, it's just not possible right now if I want to put out anything of quality (no comments from the Peanut gallery). Thanks to the advice of Cousin Matt and my blogging friend Arvind, as well as others who have chimed in, it makes sense not to press things right now.
So, I will blog when I can for the next month or so as we get the babies more accustomed to our home. I can guarantee it will be once a week or more, unless something tragic happens, but the five days a week trend will be on hiatus. Hey it's the Internet…there really is no parameters except that which we try to place on ourselves. So thank you to everyone for understanding (yes, I am assuming you're understanding).
So back to the Bambinos. Mr. Noah, the one who is still in the hospital, he's still having a very rough go. He had a Barium enema to explore the lower intestines to try to find the reason why he isn't digesting his food and they didn't find anything there.
They were going to schedule a GI Tract test to check the stomach going into the intestines. We're hoping that this occurs in the next few days since he is not eating again. Speculation is that when he had his bout with NEC a few months back, he may have developed a stricture (narrowing) somewhere in the intestines. So despite his Pyloric Stenosis surgery, he hasn't fed quite right in nearly two months.
I went to the hospital last night and held him for an hour. He just looked really defeated by it all, but perhaps I'm just projecting my emotions on to him. I had to hold him so gently because he has two lines coming out of his head and he is quite miserable. He has a growth on his right bicep under the skin that they don't know what it is right now.
I just want him to feel better and we feel awfully that we can't be at the hospital with him every day. We can't bring the babies back into the NICU…some weird No Return policy I guess…actually it's to prevent the spread of germs. We desperately want him home but he's just not ready.
So my admiration for my wife increases my leaps and bounds. I've not known her to be a patient person (i.e. she doesn't put up with my shyt) but she's shown a great deal more patience for the crying and fussing of the babies then I've been able to show so far. It's exhausting for her, I know. She's trying to catch a short nap as I watch the babies sleeping and write this.
When they are happy, they are so beautiful and it's so worth it. When they are unhappy we feel so helpless to make it better and it's very hard. I know I'm not saying anything that any parent doesn't already know.
Bella is getting very big, particularly compared to Owen. She's incredibly strong and shows great head and neck control already. You have to watch it when she's on your lap because she just pop up explosively and knock you under your chin if you're not careful.
Owen is a bit more delicate right now. You still really have to support his head and be gentle when feeding and burping him. The Visiting Nurses come tomorrow to check on the both of them so we'll find out if he's putting on weight. He lost a few ounces between when we brought him home on Sunday and when his Pediatric appointment was on Tuesday, but he seems to be filling out a bit again.
We had them both on two boppy pillows facing each other yesterday but Bella started bawling and it wasn't long before the noise got to Owen. I'll cherish the memories when the three of them first start to play together.
His heart rate monitor goes off a dozen or more times a night which is difficult on us as we have to check him each time and then reset the unit. Plus, it sometimes wakes up Bella too, who can be quite difficult to get back to sleep. I have a feeling he's going to be on the monitor for several months.
Anyways, I hear my daughter fussing a bit, so it's time to sign off. I'll be back soon enough with some articles and updates.
Thank you and warm regards…
Filed under Triplets by
Owen (Carseat) and Bella Meet Face to Face
Owen came home from the hospital Sunday evening at about 5:00pm, so we've already gotten a taste of dueling crying from two of the three triplets. My wife and I were trading off the two overnight feeds but now it's looking like we'll both have to get up for each feed. That means less sleep and an extra layer of crankiness but we're getting close to having our whole family home.
My first time feeding Owen last night did not go as well as planned. I'd fed him in the hospital before but not while he was on the portable heart rate monitor. My wife was trying to catch an hour of sleep so I was alone with him downstairs.
I went to put him on the diaper change table so I could swaddle him because he's particularly active with his hands and it's near impossible to feed him if they are free. So, I tripped over his heart rate monitor which set the alarms screaming and the leads pulled off his body which were under two layers of clothing. I couldn't get him stripped down fast enough and so he's crying, the alarms are blaring.
I managed to cut the power to the monitor and then get him dressed and swaddled. I then sat down with him and his bottle and when he calmed I started to feed him.
I marveled at how fast he was taking his food when the bottle was nearly empty after three minutes. Then I realized his bottle had a leak when he was soaked all around his torso and my pants were wet underneath.
More swear words ensued and then I sat him up on my knee to wipe him down. It was then that I noticed how dark his diaper was…and how it was overflowing with crap which was now all over me as well.
More swearing…yada yada…some more swearing…then my wife was forced out of her slumber to come down and help me with the carnage I left in my wake. The two of us together managed to clean the poor guy up, and I've gotten used to now walking around the house in my underwear (I know, not a pleasant visual) since everything else gets puked or pooped on.
Last night was impossibly tiring. Between the two feedings for each baby overnight, both were crying and fussy and Owen's monitor must have gone off at least a dozen times with the leads failing to pick up on his chest.
I'm just incredibly tired today and I don't know how we are going to do this with three babies, plus maintain my wits so I can keep my job (which I am petrified of losing since we are down to one income), plus keep this blog going. And we're only through week one of parenting.
What was it I said here before? God (The Universe) doesn't give you more than you can handle? I think God has more confidence in me than I do.
I'll be checking in with the 100 Thing Challenge tomorrow. The Butterfly Effects Challenge does not need to be updated every week now. With honesty, I am close to failing out of that one as I've underestimated the time and energy involved in raising babies.
On the plus side, I have a new Butterfly Effect – apparently not eating and not sleeping helps one to lose weight. Who knew?
Filed under Triplets by
A week into this new parenting thing and I'm a little tired, a little hungry, a little shy on my previous grooming standards (note to self – replace all dress shirts with stain-resistant ones) and a little short on patience. So, my focus this week has been on articles that help me experience lasting (a relative term) peace in my life.
Arvind Devalia wrote a nice piece for Peace One Day (did I use the correct forms of piece and peace? peas?). There are some very helpful tips in the article, particularly the process of focusing on giving, not getting and the Gratitude journal. Check out Find Peace Today rather than One Day, Some Day!
I'm a big Steve Jobs fan as I think the man is completely Brilliant. This is despite the fact that I've never owned a Mac computer. I'm completely sold on my cheap, no frills Netbook. The guy has a simple, minimal wardrobe of jeans, a turtle neck, and a sport coat. Who couldn't appreciate the type of character one must have to simply not care what others think. I learned something new about him today, thanks to the Everyday Minimalist, check out: Steve Jobs' Minimalist Office in 1982. Perfect peace, no distractions.
Leo Babauta often writes about the process of doing less, and concentrating on the essential. This article fleshes out a key component of that which I firmly support, concentrating on quality not quantity. It's something I wrestle with as I contemplate a less stringent posting schedule on this blog. 8 Ways Doing Less Can Transform Your Work & Life.
As I contemplate simplifying my bookshelf (my book fetish has brought me as much misery as joy) I enjoyed seeing a timely recap by Trent Hamm who, on a semi-regular basis, gives updates on his essential library. Quote: "A great library isn’t full of books you’ve already read and know – it’s full of books you haven’t mastered and haven’t yet read. These are the ones that continually challenge me and push me to grow." The Essential Bookshelf 2009: The Eleven Books that Rise Above the Rest.
My schedule doesn't allow me alot of time to write. When I sit down to write a post, I have to be on my game each time. As I am writing this, my "desk" is currently a leather recliner and a netbook, listening to music that's meant to calm babies (It's not working!). Sometimes I will write at the dining room table or breakfast nook. Sometimes it's by pen and paper in the cafeteria at work. I've never truly realized why I change my writing medium and my "office" frequently, but this article gives me justification for doing what I do. Using Different Parts of Your Brain.
Filed under Links by
