Bella's Last Pic Before Leaving Hospital
Each Thursday, for the near future, I give updates on how our baby triplets are doing in the hospital. They were born May 28th at 27 weeks gestational age. Bella Marie born 1lb 14oz, Owen Charles born 1lb 14oz, and Noah Anthony born 2lb 4oz.
So, the wife and I have been working at our new gig, this parenting thing. It didn't take long for Bella to put us on a schedule. At the hospital things were quite regimented for her. She was either on a three hour eating schedule or a four hour eating schedule.
Now, we can't seem to predict her at all, and the Pediatrician said to just feed her whenever and however much she wants.
She'll sleep just fine for an hour or two and then just wake up screaming bloody murder till you feed her, even while your feeding her, until she's satiated. Unfortunately, she gets herself so worked up that it takes a good hour plus to feed her. The wife and I are quite tired, and this is just baby number one.
Noah Update
Poor little guy. Noah is having a hellacious week and we can't be by his side. I let my wife go up today while I watched Bella (and suffered through her bloody curdling screens) and spend a little time with him. She reports that he looks terrible, his belly is very distended, so the stopped feeding him. He caught Staph for the third time from his periphery line, and he has a Uterine Tract Infection for the fifth time.
His blood pressure is extremely high, so the did a renal scan on him today to see if they could find any clots in his kidneys. He's just never been right since his Pyloric Stenosis surgery was botched a month ago. It is very hard to know that he is suffering a great deal right now and there is no end in sight. We have no idea when he might come home. He still needs hernia surgery and I am petrified to see how he comes out of another surgery.
Owen's Update
Owen's had a good few days. We took a class on Tuesday to learn how to use the portable heart and lung monitor that he will have to come home on. He hasn't been able to go more than a few days without his heart rate crashing into dangerous ranges. They don't really know the cause of it and he could be on the monitor anywhere from a week to a year.
I really hope it's not long. Simple things like "Tummy time" become quite difficult when he's on a heart rate monitor. I've struggled with this decision, as to whether we should fight the doctors on their recommendation to put him on a monitor. But it comes down to, if I'm wrong, the consequences are fatal. I just want the little guy to have a normal childhood. I am confident that some day he will.
We thought that he might be coming home tomorrow. I've now honestly lost count of the number of dates we've been given as to when he would be discharged. We've now been given a Sunday date. I believe it when he's home in a crib next to his sister.
Filed under Triplets by
Each Monday I check in with my update on my 13 week experiment to transform areas of my life using small habit changes that I call Butterfly Effects. Over time, in theory, these small habit changes equate to massive transformation. My experiment is to see if this theory works, and allows me to concentrate on multiple goals at one time.
Given that special circumstances delayed this post by two days, Monday marked the beginning of week 6.
The Update
So, week 6 started off with something new. My baby daughter came home from the hospital and we learned how much time and effort goes into raising a baby, much less three. Some things were easy to keep up on. Tracking my spending is easy when you don't leave the house for much. And for the couple weeks that I have been saving my $5 bills, I have $75 set aside.
I haven't been able to do a run each of the last couple days, but thanks to the new responsibilities I've been fasting pretty much from 6:00pm till noon the following day. These intermittent fasts are recommended by nutrition guru Brad Pilon in his book Eat, Stop Eat. He recommends fasts of 18-24 one to two times per week.
I did not necessarily make it intentional as to doing these intermittent fasts but once I realized what was going on yesterday, I decided to do it again today to see how I feel. Before I get the comments, "skipping breakfast slows down your metabolism" I suggest checking out his site and book. It so happens that I had started reading Brad's eBook last week.
I've studied nutrition for two decades and have either tried or studied nearly every major diet out there. So it's nothing new for me to put my body through an experiment. Too early to tell with applying Brad's research to my life but am pleased so far.
So, my new Butterfly Effect this week is to add one day of intermittent fasting per week. The best time to start the clock is after dinner, and try to make it as close as possible to the following day's dinner.
For those of you who read Monday's post, I've also started the 100 Thing Challenge. Seemingly this is the extreme opposite of the Butterfly Effects challenge but like the intermittent fasting, it really is another example of doing less.
Instead of doting over and caring for hundreds of items I make do with the essential. Apart from my gratitude journal and the repurposing of two items daily, it is the only other Simplification Butterfly Effect that I have actively going. The others reached the end of their natural progression.
As a quick round-up, here is the list of previous Butterfly Effects that I have implemented.
Overall:
- Set the Intent – Spend time each night before bed setting the intent for the following day to be successful with implementing the Butterfly Effects.
Health:
- Drink a large glass of water before each meal.
- Yoga for ten minutes each day
- Meditate for ten minutes each day
- 10 Hindu Pushups and 20 Hindu Squats, incrementing each day
- Jog at least 1.75 miles 3x per week
- One day of intermittent fasting per week
Simplify:
- Re-purpose two items per day
- Catalog my possessions for 15 minutes each day
- Write down five things to be grateful for each day
- Edit my digital life
- Consciously live the 100 Things challenge
Blogging
- Comment on 1 post each day
- Respond to each comment received
- 15 minutes learning the blogging trade
Finance
- Track spending each day
- Save my five dollar bills
Writing
- Write 250 words each day toward my first book/ebook
Related Posts:
The Butterfly Effect – Challenge Week 1
The Butterfly Effect – Challenge Week 2
The Butterfly Effect – Challenge Week 3
The Butterfly Effect – Challenge Week 4
The Butterfly Effect – Challenge Week 5
Filed under Butterfly Effect by
So, yes I know that I am now two days over on reporting about the Butterfly Effects challenge but, as if in answer to my 100 Thing Challenge, we brought my daughter Bella home from the hospital yesterday.
It was a bit unexpected. We'd been given several dates before and hadn't expected much as the dates had always come and gone but at about 5:00pm yesterday they told us to prepare to bring her home that night.
That night was a blur and it didn't seem real till we tried to put her to bed and she cried much of the night. The new surroundings overstimulated her, I'm sure.
You think that you're ready for it, and I'm not telling any existing parent anything they don't already know, but the first night, while exhilarating was truly exhausting. Feedings at midnite, 3am and 6am as well as the near constant chatter from the baby monitor and neither my wife nor I are working on fully charged batteries. And this is just one of our three babies.
I think that our organizational skills are about to really be tested. I spent much of the morning running around and removing the unessential things, which for the moment, is anything that is not baby related. And I am trying to get my writing tools organized so that I can still maintain the blog, which for me, I love to do and is a way of recharging my batteries.
I will maintain my five days a week posting schedule for as long as I can, but since this is more for love, than money (I assure you) I hope that you understand if it slips a bit in these next few months while we learn the not-so-gentle art of parenting.
This is where my Butterfly Effects challenge and my 100 Thing Challenge will really come in handy. With tiny blocks of time open here and there to do things that are not parenting-related or work-related (i'm a project manager for a large corporation by day) I have to maximize that time with tiny little steps to recharge myself:
- Like ten minutes of Yoga to relax my body
- Or a twenty minute run on the treadmill or outside to keep my heart young.
- Or ten minutes of meditation when you can't seem to get your body to fall asleep for a power nap.
- Taking a moment to write down every penny you spend when you have all these new expenses coming in like Baby Formula, medications and diapers.
- Plus, not having to worry about cleaning up your own stuff because you've managed to make do with 100 Things.
It may be just a day or two more before Owen comes home and so while it has been a very long wait of four months in the hospital, we still feel like this is coming on so fast. We concern ourselves already over how the overnight feedings will work with three babies. I am ever thankful for these three blessings and I know that the Universe never gives you more than you can handle. I am anxious and as ready as I'll ever be for these changes.
Filed under Triplets by
Change in plans. Normally I check in with the Butterfly Effect Challenge on Mondays. I will check in tomorrow on that subject, and then resume the regularly scheduled updates next Monday. I’ve started something new that I wanted to begin on the first day of this workweek. Please follow along below.
Ok, new challenge! Yes, I’m still working on the Butterfly Effects challenge, and thanks to my efforts at Simplifying my life, I’m inspired to make a new challenge, this one lasting one year.
Inspired by A Guy Named Dave, Leo Babauta at Mnmlist, The Rucksack Guy (who’s blog seems to have disappeared), Fawn and a handful of other posters at the Simple Living Discussion Boards and several others that are escaping my memory, I am going to attempt the 100 Thing Challenge – Living my life with 100 personal items.
As a recovering consumerist, I’m trying this because it will stretch my comfort zone far beyond what I’m used to and it forces me to challenge my space. It may fail, it may not, but I’m going to do the best to enjoy the process.
I’m going about things a bit differently than Dave. He got his possessions down to 100 at the start of his one year challenge and went from there. This is a terrific way to go about it, but I am trying something different. I’m boxing stuff up, storing it away, and as I need it, I will pull it out and add it to the list. This is particularly effective for clothing, which is the one category of stuff that I fear may make this experiment fail.
Living in a four season climate in a city like Buffalo, New York that is known for its extreme winters, offset by not-so-well-known hot summers (with temps sometimes reaching the 90’s) we have many reasons for different types of clothing. Ya’ can’t shovel five feet of snow in shorts and flip flops. That’s a completely different challenge…one that’s usually precipitated by male friends and copious amounts of Lager.
I figure that I can hit all four Seasons for clothing by making this challenge last one year.
I’m also a musician, so I’m concerned about all the gear, though I admit that there are many pieces of gear that I haven’t used in the past year already. Typically it’s just me and my acoustic guitar. This too, may be a trouble spot for the experiment.
Since it’s my challenge, I’ll take A Guy Named Dave’s lead and set up my own rules. You’ll notice that, by checking the links above, everyone’s rules differ.
- I do not count items that are shared with my family of five. It’s not up to me to impose my will upon them and I fear, as it is, that my wife may be lurking in the shadows to beat me with a stick for latching on to another crazy Charley idea. This means that kitchen utensils, televisions, furniture, the dining room table, washer, dryer, the Minivan, luggage, the bed, etc, are not counted (though I may have to count the bed should my wife evict me from it thanks to this and I have to buy my own).
- I do not count tools, for the same reason as above, and additionally because many of the tools were given to us by family, including my wife’s father who is no longer with us. I don’t have a lot of tools and I’m not particularly handy (understatement) but we did just go through the process of putting together three cribs, a couple pack n’ plays and some swings for the babies, and having to borrow a hammer and screwdriver every time you need it makes you an annoying neighbor (or friend, or family member).
- Like Dave, some items are counted as groups, i.e. socks and underwear. Though I’ve considered the “no underwear” challenge my Mom threatened to ground me (I am 36, but still, she’s Mom), so…I guess we’ll let that one go for now. My brother, true story, has all but eliminated the need for socks, but I can’t seem to get there. Additionally, with three baby triplets coming home from the hospital very soon, I don’t want to force any more laundry woes on my poor wife by having to wash one pair of underwear and socks daily. Were I the laundry doer, I would consider it, but my incompetency has, for the most part, caused my laundry privileges to be revoked. Besides which, it’s kinda’ disgusting to have only one pair of underwear and one pair of socks.
- Gifts are allowed, but I have to make a trade for something on my list that is like for like. For example, if someone buys me a work shirt, it has to replace one of the other work shirts on the list. With that being said, I’m discouraging gifts. My preference is that the money spent goes towards the babies instead, preferably for their 529 Plans. I need for nothing when I have a wonderful family and many modern conveniences.
- Memorabilia, though I don’t have much, does not count. I don’t have many pictures but those I do have will get passed down to succeeding generations to do as they wish.
- It doesn’t include the stuff that is kept at work. I’m expected to have and use certain tools at work and they are separate and distinct from my personal life. Were I to leave my employment, none of that would come with me as it doesn’t belong to me.
- It doesn’t count consumables like toiletries. Though the toothbrush and razor make the list. My grooming routine is decidedly lo-fi though I currently sport a goatee that needs regular trimming. I’ve thought of shaving it for this but then the consequences would be severe (please see reference above to wife, in shadows, with big stick).
- I don’t count inventory. As a writer and musician I have books and CD’s that I sell at gigs. It’s business inventory and if I didn’t have it, there wouldn’t be any business. If I counted it, this Challenge would be over immediately.
- Books. I do not count books. I don’t read much fiction, I have less than ten of these, but I have a few dozen non-fiction books on hand that are constant sources for blogging. I’ve heard the rational that I should give them to the library and then I can go check them out whenever I wish. Of all the hundreds of books I’ve donated to the library over the years I’ve never seen a single one that was kept by the library. They sell them for a buck or less to raise money. Plus, nearly every one I’ve linked to above also excludes books. With that being said, I am still considering radically simplifying my book collection.
So, why am I doing this? Other than to slay the consumerist monster within me, I hope that not fussing over stuff gives me more time to do the things I love, like spending time with my family, writing, and playing music. It kills me to spend hours upon hours cleaning and organizing my home. If I can take care of 20% of that (I, being one out of five people who live here) then that’s more time we can enjoy spending with one another.
I’m also hoping that my experiment may help serve as an example for my children some day as I’ll self-publish an eBook about it for them and for anyone else who is interested, if it’s a success. No, I don't expect them to become modern day monks but they can hopefully learn to appreciate what they have without always yearning for more. If it’s not successful, well no harm except for having suffered through writing about it (and I suppose to all of you who read it).
In theory, if I can get through a year without touching the stuff that remains in storage, I should be able to pass it along to those who can better find purpose with it.
There is no reason it can’t be a success except for my own inability to stave off instant gratification. There are billions of people in the world who get by with far less than 100 items…including shared family items. And please don’t take this as a judgment upon any of you who read this. You have to be wired a bit different to want to attempt this and it is a deeply personal thing. If you’re not interested in this, I can completely respect that.
Feel free to join in with me, if you’d like. No pressure, your challenge, your time-table, your rules. It doesn’t even have to be 100 Items.
I will be checking in with progress, as often as weekly at first as my list of 100 Items gets built, but perhaps monthly once I get the ball rolling.
The challenge begins today, September 21st, 2009 and ends, September 21st 2010.
Filed under 100 Things by
As I wrote yesterday, several dates have passed where we were told we could bring our son home. Today marks another date passed. That's neither here nor there. Many of my thoughts are on parenting lately, and of getting this small but beautiful home ready for them.
My interest in articles this encompasses anything to do with finance, inspiration and minimalism.
Space is a concern here and not being one to will my ways on anyone else, I take it upon myself to try to move towards a more minimalist lifestyle, trading my space consumption for the babies.
I also work to master my finances because formula alone looks to run us over $500 a month for the three of them and that's just based on their consumption when they first come home.
Diapers, we haven't even priced yet, but we are still wrestling with the cloth versus huggies debate. Every parent that we've spoken to has kind of dissuaded us from the cloth diapers due to having three babies.
In any event, here's a small list of several great articles I've read this week that I would like to share with you readers.
Looking down the road a bit, I often wonder how parents handle the subject of Allowance. I know that I got one as a child and was allowed to decide what to do with it as I wish. This is one way to do things. Trent Hamm at The Simple Dollar has outlined his own plan for his soon-to-be four year old. And thanks to the wonderful discussion in the comments, you have a few dozen parents' own perspective on it. Check out The Beginning of the Allowance.
New blogger, the Everyday Mininalist, has written some nice articles on minimalism from a different perspective. I quite like her definition of it and this one may make it more palatable to the general public. She has a nice story too, so please check it out. What does Minimalism really mean?
Anastasiya wrote a beautiful article about her mountain cabin vacation and how the trip gave her perspective and balanced her life. This article shows how the power of mother nature in helping center us. Our trend towards technology and away from nature is unnatural. Balance Your Life in Two Days.
In How to be Childlike, Leo Babauta talks about how to retain that child-like curiousity and presence that is the core of creativity. This is a beautiful article for me to hold onto as my babies grow.
And finally, JD over at Get Rich Slowly has out together a nice article about what to save for retirement. I think a lot of parents, including myself fall into the trap of sacrificing dollars for our own retirement to help pay for our children's schooling. This is a reminder to me, about how it's a better gift to my children to make sure that my wife and I are set in retirement and do not become a burden to them, then it is for me to pay their way through college. How Much Should you Save for Retirement?
That's all for today. I'll have new articles available on Monday.
Filed under Links by
Noah Asleep
Each Thursday, for the near future, I give updates on how our baby triplets are doing in the hospital. They were born May 28th at 27 weeks gestational age. Bella Marie born 1lb 14oz, Owen Charles born 1lb 14oz, and Noah Anthony born 2lb 4oz.
So….since last week's edition we've had three more dates come and go as to when we were told we could take Owen home. Now I simply don't put any stock into what they say anymore. When he's sitting in the car seat in the back of my mini-van, then I'll actually believe he's coming home.
They held him over again this week because he started losing some weight. So, the changed his feeds from every four hours to every three hours and he started putting on weight again, but apparently someone thought it wasn't enough weight so we missed another date.
I went in to see them last night, five hours after my wife left, and every baby in the room (seven or so) had signs up on their cribs for contact precautions. They all tested positive for adenovirus. So, here I am thinking now that the longer my children stay in the hospital the sicker they get. Some of the nurse's privately agreed with me.
It is very disheartening and, as such, I am in an entirely foul mood tonight.
Ms. Bella Sleeping Like a Princess
They said Bella and Owen might both come home this Sunday now. I don't anticipate it. Bella lost some weight overnight and has developed a bacterial skin rash that I am quite certain is due to the fact that they had a plastic tent over her body with humidified air for several weeks. I fought them on the tent, but they thought it would help her conjestion.
Bella got switched to an anti-reflux formula that looks like oatmeal and she has done well with it. She has been taking maximum feeds lately, and only occasionally sending some of it back, so it's working.
Owen Peace Out, Bro
They are getting so big, so quickly. I missed two days at the hospital over the weekend due to other obligations and I was astonished to see the changes in that short of a time. They've outgrown their preemie clothes already, so, sorry to those of you reading this who may have bought them for us, but it is real good that they are growing so well.
Owen is at 6lb 7oz and Bella is at 7lbs even. Noah, not to be outdone, is over 7lbs 6oz now. That boy is gonna be big. The nurses think Owen is going to be tall because he has long arms. I don't know where the tall gene came from.
A nice note, but my wife and I were chatting between periods of the Sabres preseason game tonight (they lost…stoopit Sabres) and she noted that Noah is quite good at recognizing her voice. The occupational therapists were working with him today and Nikki called his name and he shot his head over and looked at her, all wide-eyed.
I don't seem to talk to them much. I am very quiet in general and tend to communicate in my head with them. I need to be more verbal but it's kind of embarrassing for me to sing to them or talk to them when all the nurses are around. I am hoping that my interaction will be better when they are home.
I don't have anything else to report this week. Again, I hope when I give the next report I can happily say that one or more of my children are home. Thanks to everyone, as always, for your thoughts and prayers.
3 Nanoseconds Later...Noah Really Really Awake
Filed under Triplets by
It took me two days to blow through John Milton Fogg’s The Greatest Networker in the World
I could easily spend a few articles on this one alone and I probably will over the course of this year, however, I tend to write what’s on my mind at a given moment. And what’s on my mind at this moment is a particular technique from this book that I am finding most helpful and may be the most valuable technique that I have ever come across.
It is called the Movie In Your Mind and it is a very powerful form of mental imagery. Essentially, you allow yourself to daydream about what you would like the ultimate movie about your dream life to me. You quite literally watch it play in your mind and you control all the scenes.
Do not let the simplicity of the concept dissuade you from its importance. I actually have a tough time daydreaming about myself. It is more than likely a self esteem issue. I have been an avid daydreamer since I was a young boy and I still am now, which, quite frankly, helps me to be a pretty decent fiction writer.
I just seem to have a much easier time daydreaming about other people and situations. I have never been able to hold an image of myself for very long in my head without quickly changing the mental subject.
Watching my Mind Movie has taken a lot of practice. I think I had kept the movie going only about fifteen seconds the first time I tried it in earnest two days ago but I’ve kept at it and now I am beginning to enjoy it again.
I remember using the technique when I was a youth hockey player. Back then I had heard it called simply Mental Imagery. I had a goaltending coach when I was about ten or eleven years old (I think his name was Gene Stankowski but I may be recalling incorrectly) who sought fit to educate and prepare our minds as well he did our bodies for competition. Now, at ten or eleven most kids don’t care to read a bunch of articles on Mental Imagery printed out by there coach but I held on to them.
I remember the one in particular that quoted a study on three groups of basketball players and their statistics for foul shooting. One study group practiced every day shooting foul shots for a defined period of time. A second group was kind of the control group, they really did no practicing at all. The third group practiced only in the Movie In Their Mind. They imagined making perfect foul shots over and over again in their mind for a defined period of time.
I am sure you know where I am going with this but the three groups were then brought together to see how many foul shots they could make out of a hundred. Group one did very well, group two did poorly and the mental imagery group scored as well as the group that had been physically practicing every day.
So every night before bed, and before every game, I practiced this mental imagery of making perfect saves as a goaltender in hockey. I was an excellent youth hockey player. My career stalled in college for many reasons, but I can’t help but think that had I continued to use mental imagery instead of shelving it as childish before entering college, that I may have continued to have a great career far beyond where I had gone.
Lost athletic dreams are not the point of this blog. Rather, I know this technique of The Movie In Your Mind is very powerful. I had long ago lost my ability to do use my mental muscles for good in my life. I certainly have no trouble imagining the worst-case scenarios in my mind.
That is going to change from now on. I am making a choice to watch the Movie In My Mind every night while drifting off to sleep. I fully expect my real life to start resembling my movie over the course of the next year and beyond.
Filed under Goals by
